March 1, 2011 - State of Denial on the State of Libya

gadhafi denies protests
Either the Libyan leader is in a state of denial, or he is just completely out of touch with reality…a reality that will probably end up with his people throwing him in de' Nile very soon.

charlie sheen is cured - Speaking of being out of touch with reality…I guess it's time the rest of us started to acknowledge that maybe Charlie Sheen is just an incredibly special human being with tiger blood and Adonis DNA.
actress jane russell dies - She was the brunette star of a film called Gentlemen Prefer Blondes back in the 1950's…I'm not really sure how that worked.
couple confesses to kidnapping dugard - The couple that hid Jaycee Dugard in a small shack in their backyard for almost 20 years has confessed to kidnapping her when she was 11 years old…I guess it's good to know that she didn't enslave herself in the couple's backyard.
bernie madoff interview - Madoff feels really bad about what he did…but he can't help that all the people that lost money because of him were so greedy!
justin bieber
If you're not a Belieber in Bieber Fever, don't let all the 12 year-old girls know. They will protect this now 17 year-old sensation's honor with their life.
ke$ha - Think of her as Katy Perry…if Katy Perry drank heavily, and promoted misspelling, partying, and drinking heavily in her songs.
harry caray - The best drunk sports announcer the world has ever seen…
a couple of accidental shootings
This father and mother celebrated their right to bear arms by each getting accidentally shot by their own gun within minutes of each other.
man dumps mice in competitor stores
The first rule of running a pizza shop? The only way to beat your competition…is to dump mice in their stores.
sign up for chicago cubs pa job
The best part of this job? You'll never have to work past September.
escalator pileup
I use escalators, but I can't say that I totally trust those things…here's a good example of an escalator gone wild.
reporter breaks up fight
If he was a good reporter, he would have let the fight go on, caught it all on film, then asked the tough questions.

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