February 23, 2011 - Wham! Bam! Thank You Rahm!

rahm emanuel mayor of chicago Really Short Story: Well, yesterday in Chicago, they made official what everyone has pretty much known since last fall: Rahm Emanuel will be the next Mayor of the city. Hopefully he sent his opponents some dead fish to celebrate.

the OTHER big news:
carmelo anthony to new york - In other long overdue news: Carmelo Anthony is officially heading from the Rocky Mountains to the concrete jungle where dreams are made.
justin bieber haircut - In yet another piece of long overdue news: Justin Bieber got a real haircut!
uconn basketball penalized - That's right, another piece of overdue news: University of Connecticut men's basketball got a playful little slap on the wrist from the NCAA yesterday.
libya interior minister quits - Finally, the last piece of overdue news: Libya's interior minister quit yesterday. The official reason for his resignation: intense fear of being overthrown by riotous violent protesters.

dakota fanning February 23, 2011 - dakota fanning day!

WHY?: Her name is really Hannah Dakota Fanning, so I'm guessing if she wanted to, she could sue the Hannah Montana series for profiting off of her name, kinda. Of course, if she's really smart, she's been watching Lindsay Lohan's downfall lately, and hopefully realizes that it's not a long journey from adorable child actor to despised drug-addicted criminal young adult. Personally, I'm just hoping she ends up marrying Haley Joel Osment one day.

TOMORROW'S contenders:
steve jobs - Jobs' jobs include: making products that start with the letter i and being really really rich.
floyd mayweather, jr. - I'm sure this boxer has made his dad, Floyd Mayweather, Sr. proud.
phil knight - Started a small shoe company in the 70's, made millions off of Michael Jordan in the 80's.

indian man has 39 wives He also has 100 children, and probably a ridiculous amount of bills to pay.

dueling palin biographies
How about this? Sarah Palin even causes conflict between people trying to make money off of her name.
geese running down the street
I don't know what exactly is happening here or what it all means, but it certainly can't be good.
son wears low gpa sign
The ironic part of all this: only an idiot with an insanely low GPA would actually stand on a street corner wearing this sign.
rush limbaugh mocks michelle obama
Yes, that's right, he mocked her figure. I think psychologists call this type of behavior "projection." At least he didn't mock her addiction to prescription painkillers.