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ghadafi clinging to power Really Short Story: As he clings to power, millions of Libyans defy violence to pry it from his hands. I get the feeling if they find him, it won't be just a friendly tug of war, though… |
gastric bypass research - If you're planning on weight-loss surgery, gastric bypass is your best bet. Of course, you could also just stop eating…
earthquake in new zealand - It's unclear how many sheep were injured in the quake.
liam neeson's comeback - Arguably the greatest Irish actor of his generation (that's right, Collin Farrell and Pierce Brosnan!) he's trying to overcome his wife's tragic death.
bhp billiton acquires billions in shale - I don't know what you do with shale, or why you would buy so much of it, but I guess that's why I'm not in this line of business.
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julius erving February 22, 2011: julius erving Day! |
WHY?: Before Julius Erving came into professional basketball, people looked at the dunk as just another way to score two points. Even behemoths like Wilt Chamberlain rarely put the ball into the hoop with much force. However, the good Doctor took the ABA by storm before they merged with the NBA in 1976. With his monstrous hands, and insane "hops," Dr. J revolutionized the game and paved the way for guys like Blake Griffin to make millions of dollars by jumping over cars and dunking the ball through the hoop at ferocious speeds. He also starred in a movie called The Fish That Saved Pittsburgh and, like Chamberlain and most modern-day NBA stars, Erving was also known for having a way with the ladies and has fathered more than one child out of wedlock, including tennis star Alexandra Stevenson.TOMORROW'S contenders:
dakota fanning - I don't know why, but I feel like this child actor should be like 42 by now.
michael dell - He founded a computer company. I won't tell you which one, but I will tell you he's rich.
tom osborne - He's basically a god in Nebraska. That's not saying a whole lot, but still…
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woman in the major leagues Well, she's just pitching batting practice, which is like saying a woman is finally in the White House, only to find out she's just a maid. |
signs of economic recoveryI guess they figure people are finally leaving the house, which means first and foremost, time for a fresh, new pair of underwear.
22,000 bats in one australian gardenI'm not talking about baseball bats. I'm also cancelling my Australia trip for a while…
news crew attacked by mourners at ihopIf this is how the mourners are acting, I'd hate to see what caused the actual shooting.
woman's weave stops bulletNow, there's a million dollar idea: a bulletproof wig! I gotta go work on the prototype!
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