February 2, 2011 - Groundhog Predicts 7 More Months of Mubarak

mubarak won't seek re-election
Really Short Story: So, all those thousands of thousands of protesters in Egypt who have been protesting day after day against the reign of the current President, Hosni Mubarak, were not satisfied with his statement that he will not seek re-election in September. So, the lesson is that I guess you don't protest day after day in a country that doesn't allow protests to see results 7 months from now.

the OTHER big news:
monster winter storm hits midwest - Still trying to figure out why winter storms during winter are such big news these days.
dow hits 12000 again - I blame this all on Obamacare! The Dow would be up to at least 25k if not for that Muslim guy in the White House!
super bowl media day - Don't get your hopes up…this has nothing to do with Super Bowl commercials.
golden globes don't want gervais back - I guess they were tired of having an entertaining show?
farrah fawcett
February 1, 2011: farrah fawcett Day!
WHY?: Farrah Fawcett is primarily known for two things: her role on Charlie's Angels which has inspired millions of young girls to partake in the world's dumbest and most overused pose for photos, and her role as one of the defining sex icons of the 1970's thanks in large part to her place on the most popular poster of all time. Of course, she also chronicled her battle with cancer, culminating in her death in 2009, but I'd argue that it's a bit more fun to reminisce about her days as the blonde bombshell inspiring the hairstyle of every young girl on the block.

TOMORROW'S contenders:
nathan lane - The gayest dude on Broadway…that's quite an accomplishment.
isla fisher - Married to Borat AND starred (and I mean, starred!) in Wedding Crashers…what a combo!
joey bishop - The guy in the Rat Pack that you have never ever heard of.
bush daughter supports same sex marriage
I don't carry what she supports, Barbara Bush is smoking hot…oh wait, different Barbara Bush.
julian assange on 60 minutes
Is he really as creepy as he looks? Take a look for yourself…I'm not willing to risk the nightmares.
cab driver imitates michael jackson
This guy's not really a cab driver. Most cab drivers I know are only good at speaking ver quietly into bluetooth headsets in languages I can't understand.
new nba all-star uniforms
Maybe it's just me, but this looks like how to make a world-class athlete look like an out of shape 45 year-old man.
carol moseley braun's crack comment
There's nothing like accusing an opponent of using crack to ruin your chances at winning an election…if you ever had a chance to begin with.