February 18, 2011 - States Trying To Teach A Lesson

teacher unions versus states
Really Short Story: Teachers are all like "we have the most important jobs in the world" and the states are all like "we don't need you guys at all" and to be honest, neither one is really as right as they think they are.

the OTHER big news:
miguel cabrera arrested for dui - I guess he was tired of Albert Pujols stealing all the baseball headlines…there's better ways to get the attention back, though.
solar flare - It's coming, and it might be pretty, but it could be trouble…but I probably didn't have to tell you that a solar flare might cause problems.
libya's day of anger - Just another day of government protest against anti-government protests in the Middle East.
budget goes to house - If you don't know what people mean when they discuss bureacracy in Washington, try to follow the latest federal budget fiasco…
yoko ono
February 18, 2011: yoko ono Day!
WHY?: I'm guessing when the rest of the Beatles first met Yoko, they were left saying "Oh no." I mean, they had to know she was a problem. She was a wacky feminist/artist from Japan, who had been married twice already with one child, and had been previously institutionalized in Japan. Whatever John Lennon saw in her, I have to imagine had the rest of the group getting their resumes ready for post-Beatles life. Unfortunately, of course, no one foresaw the assasination of John Lennon in 1980, which left everyone grieving, and caused Yoko to slowly transform into an elderly Japanese woman bearing a striking resemblance to Kim Jong-il.

TOMORROW'S contenders:
kelsey grammer - I don't know a whole lot about Kelsey other than his girly name and he was Dr. Frasier Crane…and I get the feeling I want to keep it that way.
jennifer love hewitt - Proving that you don't need talent to be successful…but you do need a couple other assets.
david geffen - I think he's like a big-time music exec…meaning he hates you for downloading all that free music.
alabama fan poisons auburn trees
Then calls a sports radio show to brag about it…then gets arrested. Not everyone in Alabama is as smart as Antoine Dodson…
wrestler refuses to wrestle girl
Most guys I know did just about anything to wrestle girls when they were in high school.
patient gets wrong kidney
Doctors say "oops, are you sure?"
detroit gets robocop statue
I know this seems strange, but in a city like Detroit, this actually should spruce the place up.
cruel synchronized goldfish trick
Animal cruelty now includes goldfish? What's next, ants?