February 11, 2011 - Sick of All That Jazz

jerry sloan resigns
Really Short Story: I guess either Jerry Sloan finally got the memo that NBA coaches were not supposed to have steady jobs, or he woke up the other day and realized that he had just spent the past 25+ years of his life in Utah. Either way, he knew it was time to go.

the OTHER big news:
mubarak doesn't resign - Hey, Hosni, I am not 100% sure, but I don't think that pretending like you are going to resign, and then NOT resigning is the best way to calm down all those riotous protesters.
hp touchpad released - It's kinda like an iPad, but it's not made by Apple or called an iPad, so I'm guessing it won't be all that popular.
sidney crosby's consussion troubles - You think concussions are limited to football? Think again, it turns out that racking up huge dentist bills is not the only health-related concern of the modern hockey player.
ray allen sets 3-point record - I'm sure Ray Allen wasn't a math major in college, but he's figured out that it's better to score 3 points at once than just 2.
sarah palin
February 11, 2011: sarah palin Day!
WHY?: What else can I tell you about Sarah Palin that you don't already know. If you have managed to not learn everything there is to know about her over the past 2.5 years, then you are in the minority. She burst onto the scene out of nowhere, when John McCain, in what will probably be the biggest regret of his life, named her as his running mate for the 2008 Presidential election. Of course, despite her, uhhh, way with words, the moose-hunting former beauty queen turned ultra-conservative folk hero developed a large cult following, primarily among middle-aged rural white women, and the elderly. It's still not clear if she'll run for President in 2012, but if she does, and by some remote chance, every other candidate withdraws from the race, and she ends up becoming our President, it will be quite evident that all those who had predicted the end of days in 2012 were probably right...

TOMORROW'S contenders:
pat o'brien - The former television personality with the awesome mustache whose career was ruined by a drug/sex-type voicemail.
steve mcnair - The former All-Pro QB, whose life ended during a dispute with an insane young woman whom he was messing around with.
michael bloomberg - Independent Mayor of New York and really, really rich dude.
mark sanchez hooks up with teen
Mark Sanchez just found out that it's completely legal to hook up with 17 year-olds in New York...uh oh.
head shaving helmet
This is a terrible head injury waiting to happen.
jordan practices with bobcats
Speaking of bald heads, old man Mike Jordan is back on the court...just practicing, but still dominating.
former prostitute fired from teaching
Just so you know, she was fired from teaching art, not from a job teaching prostitution.
joan rivers versus fox news
I just heard about this whole Joan Rivers vs. Fox News thing, and I thought to myself, there's a battle that no one can possibly win.

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