January 4, 2011 - Seamen Behaving Badly

inappropriate videos in navy
Really Short Story: I think they were playing that "In The Navy" video by YMCA over and over again.
Short Story: So you would probably think that a guy named Owen Honors, a captain in the United States navy, would be a pretty cool guy. You know, like a real, well, you know...honorable individual that would know right from wrong and would be able to keep his crew from doing anything stupid. Unfortunately, this is why you should never assume just because a dude has a name like that and a job like that that he is any different from, oh, say, Brett Favre (more on him later...) Apparently, Captin Honors, who may be removed from his post, broadcast some vulgar videos on his ship for his crew to watch in 2006 and 2007. So, while society seems to accept the fact that sailors use dirty language, it is time to recognize that we will still not tolerate dirty videos. michael stipe
January 4, 2011: michael stipe Day! - Just the lead singer of the world's best college band.
WHY?: Let's clear this up once and for all, Michael Stipe does not have AIDS. Okay, now that that's out of the way, let us officially coronate Mr. Stipe and his band, REM as the godfathers of something called college rock. Stipe, who formed REM while at the University of Georgia, and named the band at random out of the dictionary, basically redefined the genre, for better or worse. Stipe has also defined sexuality on his own terms as well, seeing as he has apparently dated men for the most part, but refuses to consider himself either gay, straight or otherwise. Stipe, as previously mentioned, has also been the target of AIDS rumors, but that's probably mostly because he was bald, superskinny and came to popularity in the 1980's. Another little-known fact about Mr. Stipe? Well, he's the godfather of Courtney Love and Kurt Cobain's daughter Frances Bean. Is that random enough for you?

TOMORROW'S contenders:
january jones - This Mad Men star's parents must have been super-creative people to come up with that first name.
diane keaton - I bet in 1972 in her first major role in the Godfather, she never imagined she'd get naked in a film with Jack Nicholson…almost 40 years later.
marilyn manson - Not the cause of various high school shootings over the past decades, but I could see how one might come to that conclusion.
kid shoots mom with christmas gift
Everyone knows you don't give a kid a gun for Christmas, they could shoot their eye out…or your head off.
coach negotiates no gatorade bath
I am pretty sure he just told these guys that they didn't have any more Gatorade for the team to drink on the bus ride home if they dumped this bucket.
man robs store with big stick
Walk softly, carry a big stick, then rob a convenience store?
woman ejected from college basketball game
Someone's mom just got kicked out of a Memphis basketball game on national television.
favre sued by massage therapists
I think they sued him for tricking them into thinking he was retiring for the past several seasons…or for sexual harrassment.