January 25, 2011 - A No Go for Rahmbo?

rahm emanuel off chicago mayor ballot
Really Short Story: Rahm is off the ballot…until he finds out about it.
Short Story: Rahm Emanuel is not used to things not going his way. Well, that's not entirely true, I guess he's used to things not going his way, and then having to make them go his way through a little old-school political persuasion. Whether that means poking a grown man in the chest in the shower, or sending someone a dead fish via mail, Rahm usually does what it takes to get his way. Well, he's going to need a little more of that Rahmbo magic to get back on the ballot for Chicago mayor (which would seem to be a perfect place for a "by any means necessary/take no prisoners" type of politician like himself) after his desperate opponents managed to get him removed from the ballot due to residency concerns. alicia keys
January 25, 2011: alicia keys Day! - The keys to her success: the massive amounts of talent, I guess.
WHY?: Her real name is Alicia Cook, which really just makes me wonder how the name Alicia Keys is really any better as a stage name. She was on the Cosby Show when she was 4, graduated as valedictorian from a performing arts school when she 16, and went to Columbia University, but decided to leave to focus on selling records and winning Grammy Awards, so I guess she's done alright for herself, but that doesn't change the fact that she has yet to produce a song that comes on the radio and makes you want to turn it up...well, unless you count her cameo on "Empire State of Mind" with Jay-Z.

TOMORROW'S contenders:
wayne gretzky - Known as "The Great One," presumably because of his hockey skills.
ellen degeneres - Her wife is hotter than yours.
gene siskel - Getting two thumbs up meant something when Siskel was one of the thumbs.
jack lalanne workout
Hey, don't laugh, start doing your face workouts. This guy lived to be 96.
awesome nba jersey
There's nothing better than finally making it to the NBA and having them tape your number to your jersey.
cars turn into icicles
Well, does this officially prove that global warming is a hoax?
end of credit cards
Apparently, people will be paying for everything in pennies by 2016, if the economy even exists by then.
that's not beef at taco bell
Well, it's less than 35% beef. I'll let you guess what the rest of it is…