October 21, 2010 - Iced Tea Party?

tea party candidates problems
Short Story: Tea Party candidates may turn out to be unqualified idiots.
Long Story: Listen, I guess, in theory, this whole Tea Party movement seemed like a great idea…if you were really old, white, and from a predominately rural area. But right about now, even the most ignorant members have to be seeing the error of their ways, and the problems with running such untested candidates, right? In Alaska, Sarah Palin-supported Senate candidate Joe Miller refuses to answer any questions about his past or his qualifications for the position. In Nevada, Sharron Angle referred to some Latinos as "more Asian-looking" to her. In Delaware, well, you've heard of Christine O'Donnell by now. She apparently hasn't read the most basic parts of the Constitution and we're still pretty sure she's a witch. Honestly, I'm still pretty sure this is all some kind of evil plan by Sarah Palin to make herself look competent by comparison.
Kim Kardashian
October 21, 2010: Kim Kardashian Day! - No one makes more by doing less.
WHY?: Her dad was one of OJ's lawyers. Her stepdad is Olympic super-decathlete Bruce Jenner. She has acted in a few movies, but none more successful than her sex tape with one-time boyfriend Ray J. She was married when she was 20, and divorced by 24. She dated former Heisman Trophy winner Reggie Bush for a couple years as well. She has a reality show on VH1 with her less-attractive sisters, who have gained some small amount of fame riding on her coattails. She competed on Dancing With The Stars for about 2 weeks before getting kicked off. I'm still not entirely convinced that she's not just a more voluptuous brunette version of Paris Hilton.

TOMORROW'S contenders:
Christopher Lloyd - Great scott! It's Doc from Back to the Future! The freakin' guy who invented time travel!
Jeff Goldblum - He's a bit eccentric, but he was awesome in The Fly!
Spike Jonze - If you don't know who this is, please see this video that he directed. Pure genius.
chimp on the loose
Chimps just seem cute…until you let them loose out in the world, and they become destructive threats to society.
clarence thomas wife seeks apology
Clarence Thomas' wife wants Anita Hill to apologize to her for being harrassed by him…20 years ago.
joe paterno says outlaw facemasks
Joe Paterno is quite old, so you could forgive him if this didn't make any sense…but some experts say he may be right.
racist anti-lebron tweets
Racist or not, no one who tweets anything negative towards a public figure is likely doing much positive with their own life.
hockey player pushes fan
At least he didn't pull the guy's shirt over his head before he pushed him.

1 comment:

  1. The Tea Party are definately living up (down) to expectations, and your Palin theory is sound. In the kingdom of the blind - the one eyed man is king.

    What people don't understand is the origin of The Tea Party. They have their roots firmly planted in literary history.


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