September 27, 2010 - Megacontroversy at the Megachurch

pastor homosexual relations allegations
This story may not come as a complete surprise, but it will certainly come as a guilty source of entertainment over the next several days/weeks/months. A man who goes by the name of Bishop Eddie Long, (although I guess Bishop is technically his title and not his name) the pastor at a $50 million megachurch in Atlanta, is being accused by four young men of coercing them into homosexual relations. Long, who is actually on the record as being, uh, I guess what you might call "not a fan of homosexuality" has vowed to fight the allegations, but he will not be able to do it without the support of his followers. So, if you are on Eddie Long's side, please keep him in your prayers, and more importantly, open your checkbooks!

bishop eddie long
Q: If Justin B. and Lady G get married and have a son what would be the name of the little boy?
A: Let's assume, for everyone's sake, that we are talking about world-famous celebrity/pop singers Justin Bieber and Lady Gaga, and not just a couple friends of yours named Lady and Justin. Next, I have to wonder if both parties are anatomically able to make this happen. I mean, Bieber seems awfully young to be fathering children, have you heard how high is voice is? And Gaga isn't exactly the most feminine chick out there. Are we sure she could carry a child? Does she even have a uterus? If we can get past all of that, I guess if we are to believe that they would have a little boy, I assume the boy would take Gaga's last name, and they would ultimately decide to name him Gugu. It would be the easiest baby name for a baby to pronounce EVER. So, there you have it, the world's next great super-unlikely pop star: Gugu Gaga.
stephen colbert immigration hearing
Some congressmen feel he disrespected the hearing process…I tend to think that maybe the whole process disrespected Colbert.
octomom yard sale
Octomom needs cash! So she's selling autographed underwear, pictures of herself, and much, much more. How do I get there?!?! I want that giant Octomom pinata!
longest swim on a single breath
I'm trying to figure out if 265 meters is a long way to swim underwater. Either way, I'm probably just going to stay up here above water where I can breathe normally.
future billionaires
Sure, 14% of America lives in poverty, but that's not as fun as reading about how much money Jerry Seinfeld has!
up and coming us cities
Not every town in America is on the decline. There are at least 15 that aren't apparently. No luck for the thousands of other cities, unfortunately.

Couldn't make it to megachurch this weekend? Well, it's probably a good week to skip with all that controversy going on. Stay home and flip on the Megachurch Gospel CD. I'm sure Jesus won't mind.

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