August 4, 2010 - Favre And Away

brett favre retires
Brett Favre supposedly is retiring from the NFL. I know, I know, laugh it up, start the office pool on when he will unretire and where he will land next. You have every right to be skeptical considering how many times he has seemingly "retired" to spend his days playing pickup football in muddy fields with a bunch of dudes all wearing Wranglers, only to come back just days later. This time, though, I fear it may be real, as Favre just can't match up to young studs like, uh, Tavaris Jackson any more.
connecticut workplace killings
This is arguably a bigger story than the whole Brett Favre saga, but you hate to spend too much time talking about a guy who got fired and decided that rather than collecting unemployment and starting a new job search, maybe he should just go ahead and shoot up the company that just fired him. As always, let's hope against hope this is the last time we face this type of situation.
static kill begins
Well, if there is any way to segue into a BP oil spill story involving the word kill and make it look like a hopeful tale, this is it. The process of pumping mud into the damaged well in the Gulf known as the static kill is underway, and there is an outside chance that this may finally put a permanent end to that crazy situation out there, and let us all go back to loving oil and chanting "Drill Baby Drill!" with Sarah Palin. So there you go, a tale of workplace violence with a positive outcome.
wyclef jean haiti president
If you thought that major earthquake in Haiti this winter was a disaster of major proportions, well it was, and it would be silly, and perhaps even disrespectful, to insinuate that having Wyclef Jean running for President of his native land could be nearly as damaging. Now, if he were to win the Presidency, then we can start making those comparisons, but at least he would probably be too busy to totally destroy "We Are The World" again.
ground zero mosque plan
Despite all the complaints of the xenophobes who have fought vigorously to prevent a mosque from being built near the site of Ground Zero in downtown Manhattan, it appears that the plans for the mosque are moving along. Now, to be fair to those who oppose the project, America has never been a land of religious freedom, or anything like that...wait a second, nope, it appears that it actually is supposed to be, so there goes that argument.

more americans admit obesity
Either Americans have stopped lying to themselves, or obesity is becoming cooler.

god's jacket cures people
If you didn't read the headline, you'd be hard-pressed to figure out if he was curing people or slaying them with "God's jacket."

negotiated infidelity
I'm sure millions and millions of men over the years have never thought of trying to negotiate the ability to cheat on their wives.
lebron thanks akron
No, he didn't thank Cleveland, just his hometown of Akron, but to be fair, I'm not so sure Clevelanders would forgive him even with a big newspaper apology anyways.
lady gagas most outrageous outfits
How do you narrow this list down to just 60?

I'm not sure if it was exactly what they had in mind, but you do have to wonder if the title of this DVD has anything to do with Brett Favre's seeming desire to never retire.