August 24, 2010 - Tiger Unleashed!

tiger elin woods divorce
Well, it's official. The day Tiger Woods has been dreaming of ever since he met Elin Nordegren has arrived, as their divorce is finally official, and Eldrick Woods is now back on the market, free to roam as he wishes. Now, the only downsides for Woods in this situation is, well, there's the two kids, first of all, then there's all the ridiculous cash he is going to have to fork over to the beautiful Swede whose life he just destroyed, and, of course, he spent all that time in sex rehab just so he could be single again. Oh, I guess he also kinda sucks at golf now, and his seemingly invincible self-confidence seems to have been shattered as his personal and professional life lay in ruins. Aside from all that, though, yesterday was a good day for Tiger.

tiger WOODS

Articulates asks…
Q: Why do I have to stand in long lines of 15 people or more in the check out line, at the store, when they are set up with 9 registers of which 7 are not open?
A: Well, Ms. Articulates, you do not HAVE to stand in those long lines, you make the choice. You could always go to a less popular store at a less convenient time, and there would probably be shorter lines, but instead, you chose to go to a popular store at a popular time. Now, as an alternative, maybe stores should test the idea of lanes for people who wish to pay a smell premium for more experienced employees in luxury wide-lanes to remove all your items from the cart for you, scan them in and check you out before you even have time to think about how you can't wait to get home and try those cookies you just bought. How much would you pay for that privelege? If that doesn't work, maybe stores should just build only 2 checkout lanes if that's all they are going to use, so people stop dreaming of how much more efficient their trip could have been.
speidi sex tapes and divorce?
Sooooo…Spencer and Heidi are getting divorced, and he's using sex tapes as blackmail, or so they'd like you to believe. You just wish that people would stop talking about them, but people keep posting the links to their stories anyways…
manager ejection tape
In honor of Lou Piniella's recent retirement, we give you this up close and personal account of what really happens when a manager goes nuts in a baseball game.
the situation annual earnings
You think you're underpaid now. Wait until you find out how much someone like The Situation gets paid annually just for being an idiot.
feds seek ebonics translator
Hey, if you jive turkeys need someone who speaks a little ebonics, I can dig!
lady steals youth football money
One look at the mugshot, and you know this lady was probably using the money for food rather than plastic surgery.

You might as well just throw away Tiger Woods '10, and I'm not even so sure you should go for Tiger Woods '11 or Tiger Woods '12. Maybe we should check back around 2013 and re-evaluate our feelings for the Tiger Woods franchise.