August 20, 2010 - A Legend to Misremember

roger clemens indicted
In this day and age of Tiger Woods, Terrell Owens and Lebron James, and all these egotistical, me-first sports stars, sometimes it makes you yearn for the days of yore when sports heroes were noble and admirable men who fought bravely on the playing fields and lived honorably off of them. Then, you think to yourselves, wait, what era am I thinking of? The one with Roger Clemens, who left his first team high and dry, started juicing heavily to revive his career, roid-raged on the field, then threw all his friends under the bus as he lied to Congress to try to save his legacy? Well, at least we still have Barry Bonds...

eggs recalled
It's been called the incredible, edible egg, but if you have consumed one of the 380 million or so eggs that have been recalled in the past couple days, you might find them more incredible than edible, as they are tainted with salmonella bacteria, and probably left you feeling, well, let's just say, not so eggs-cellent. While I apologize for that phrasing, you start to think about if this is how the chickens finally get their revenge on us humans for years of breeding them just for their tasty meat and wonderful eggs.
jobless claims nine month high
If you do an analysis of the jobless claims reports since the recession began here in the United States almost 2 years ago, not only will you discover that yesterday we saw a nine-month high as the claims jumped to 500,000, but you might also realize at some point that you don't need a number like this to tell you that a lot of people are unemployed. After that, you will probably realize that you could probably find better ways to spend your time, and maybe if you stopped wasting so much time on useless analysis, you could go find another job.
san fran flight threatened
A telephone threat was placed on a flight from San Francisco to New York earlier yesterday, resulting in the cancellation of the flight before authorities determined that the threat was not credible. Now, I know that we have to be extra cautious with flight security in this day and age, but given how irritable and impatient most travelers are, I bet if you gave the people on the plane the option of continuing on with the flight despite the threat, I imagine a lot of them would actually go for that option.
percy harvin collapses
If this doesn't prove how painful and downright debilitating migraine headaches can be, I guess nothing will. Minnesota Vikings wide receiver Percy Harvin was watching his team practice yesterday when he collapsed and was taken to the hospital in an ambulance. Harvin was later released, and appeared to be doing okay, with his collapse attributed to the migraines, although many people initally thought he was just over-excited about the prospect of playing with Brett Favre for one more season.

bull goes into stands
I don’t know how this made headlines. I guess I figured this is what happens at just about every bullfight.
tyreke evans golf swing
Tyreke Evans can play a little basketball, and can drive really really fast. It turns out, however, that he should not be allowed near a golf course.
mark ingram golf trick
Heisman Trophy winner Mark Ingram, on the other hand, might have a second career on his hands if he doesn't enjoy getting concussed for a living.
palin defends dr. laura
Her ultra-conservative views make her seem like she's at least 70, but her mad tweeting skills would put Sarah Palin at no older than 12.
104 year old heiress
If middle-aged woman are cougars, then what exactly would you call a lonely 104 year-old single lady?

Train like baseball superstar juicer Roger Clemens with this weird-looking baseball. I'm not sure if this comes with syringes, or you have to buy your own.

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