August 13, 2010 - No Mexicans Allowed (Without Permission!)

600 million border security bill
President Obama is scheduled to sign into law a bill that will provide $600 million in emergency funds to secure the Mexico-US border. Of course, this will satisfy some who say the government is not doing enough to secure our borders, but probably not for very long. Even so, it would just allow them to direct more xenophobic attention towards that mosque being built near Ground Zero in Manhattan.
ca gay marriages to resume
Be gay and rejoice! Well, hold on…don't get too gay yet, and don't try and go get married if you are gay and happen to live in California. While it's possible that gay marriages could resume in California as early as next week, a judge put a hold on the overturning of Prop 8 yesterday, which would end a ban on gay marriage in the state. It really makes you think, wedding planning has got to be extra painful when you have to try to schedule it around when it becomes legal.
gm ceo steps down
Talk about going out on top. GM CEO Edward Whitacre, Jr. took the company from the depths of bankruptcy and lead it to a $1.3 billion profit last quarter, before suddenly announcing yesterday that he was stepping down. It's almost as if he has nothing left to prove. The only question for me is, is this more comparable to Michael Jordan's first retirement or his second retirement?
blagojevich jury deadlocked
That Blago saga continues as the jury in the ex-Illinois governor's trial remains deadlocked on many of the counts. Blago and his family spent most of the day yesterday at the courthouse waiting to see just how guilty a jury thought he was on the 24 counts against him while playing the board game Trivial Pursuit. Sadly for Blago, the game is one of the few possessions that he has left, and he was quoted as saying "this is a valuable f---ing thing, this game."
serial stabbing suspect
Well, the good news, if you want to call it that, is that this guy decided to take his frustrations out by stabbing people rather than shooting them. The bad news is, of course, that he stabbed 18 people along the way, with 5 of them dying, before trying to flee to Israel yesterday. Fortunately, cops caught up to the guy as he was waiting for his flight. Hopefully, this time they won't just let him go like the first time they caught him.

mcdonalds mcnuggets lady
You may have heard of this lady by now. If you haven't, in a strange twist, someone finally gets mad when they show up at McDonald's and finds out they are still serving breakfast.
dr. laura n-word
Whoa…I guess Dr. Laura has been focusing so much on being a radio doctor, that she woke up and all the sudden forgotten all societal norms.
denny's fried cheese melt
If there is any way to add bacon and/or more butter into this sandwich, I think…hold on, I don't feel so good even talking about this.
picky eating a medical condition
Apparently, only eating waffles and french fries for every single meal is not normal.
rabid bats in peru
After reading this, I'd rather eat about 100 of those fried cheese melts from Denny's than go to Peru right now.

Imagine if the tables were turned, and Mexico stopped letting us head South of the border to drink Coronas, eat tacos and party at the beach. We wouldn't have children's books like this, and college spring break would never be the same.