August 11, 2010 - Plane and Simple Alaskan Tragedy

alaska plane crash
You know I hate to start off your morning with a Big News story involving a tragic accident, but really, if you believe the statistics, the plane crash in Alaska that claimed the life of disgraced former Senator Ted Stevens, it really shouldn't come as a surprise, as 35% of all small plane crashes occur in Alaska, and Mr. Stevens had predicted he would die in such a crash, much the same way his first wife did in 1978. So, don't consider this a tragedy so much as a man realizing his self-fulfilling prophecy.
fantasia barrino overdoses
They say money can’t buy you happiness, however, I was always under the impression that winning the title of American Idol could buy that happiness. However, after Fantasia Barrino's recent string of bad luck, which involves accusations of breaking up a marriage, and an overdose that left her hospitalized yesterday, it appears that is not true either. (Also, just as a note, the article at the time I am reading this says Fantasia overdosed on "meditation," which she must have been doing after she took all that medication.

jetblue flight attendant
So, the story about the flight attendant who flipped out and quit at the end of his latest flight that began as a Fresh Knowledge story yesterday, has evolved into a full-blown Big News story. Apparently, the flight attendant, who berated some unruly passengers as his plane landed, before grabbing a beer and heading down the emergency slide in what was effectively his resignation is a very popular man all of a sudden. Yes, that's right...turns out male flight attendants can be interesting after all.
fed vows to help economy
Listen, not to freak you out, but the Federal Reserve has vowed to do everything it can to help speed up the economic recovery. Now, that may sound like good news at first, but then you think to yourself, wait a second, they aren't already doing everything they can? Then you start to think why does the economy need help anyways, isn't this recession thing supposed to be almost over soon anyways? Then you go and pull all your money out of the bank and hide it in your mattress and head down to your bomb shelter to hibernate.
motorola droid 2
Good news for all you iPhone-haters out there, and bad news for all those that dropped $200 to try to keep up with the iPhone by purchasing a Droid in the last few months. It turns out Motorola is releasing the Droid 2, and will no longer even produce the antiquated Droid it introduced last winter. Of course, Apple laughed off the news, reminding consumers that they are already on the iPhone 4, so even with the new Droid, they are still only halfway there.

sarah palin teacher showdown
I know, you see the title, and you assume this story involves a bunch of Sarah Palin lookalikes in some type of stripping contest. Of course, if that's not it, the next best alternative would be Palin getting intellectually owned by an actual teacher.
boyfriend ducks and ball hits girl
Hey, really, when you date a guy that dresses like this, what are you hoping for?
lebron versus kids
Considering how much of a beast LeBron is, it took me a few minutes to realize he was actually playing this game against small children.
rand paul kidnapping story
While he says he most certainly did not kidnap and force a girl to take bong hits while he was in college, even if he did, Rand Paul believes that the government should not interfere with someone's right to do so.
levi johnston for mayor
Levi Johnston knows full well that anyone can run the small Alaskan town of Wasilia and rise to fame off their looks alone.

Here's your complete Frommer's guide to visiting Alaska. Let me just recommend one thing: try to avoid any air travel if you can.

3 comments:

  1. The douche bag picture is priceless it's like the auditions for the campiest boy band in history and that is saying something, lol. My dad works as an airline pilot and I've met a lot of male flight attendants and to be honest none have ever struck me as being very interesting but then I'm probably not their type. Loved the Sarah Palin picture I'm no fan of her but she poses extremely well, lol.

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  2. That Sarah Palin sure is pretty! She would make one hell of a flight attendant!

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  3. That teacher was cool. And she DID roll her eyes.

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