July 19, 2010 - Just Shrek'in

oosthuizen wins british open
Talk about anti-climactic. Or, if you want, you could just talk about yesterday's finish to the British Open Championship, and you would get the exact same end result. Some guy named Louis Oosthuizen, though everyone calls him Shrek for short, from South Africa made his World Cup-hosting countrymen proud by running away with the championship in Scotland by 7 strokes on Sunday. There used to be some American guy who could do stuff like that, but he was more interested in running away with 7 broads in Scotland...or Vegas.
tea party express racist
Just when we were all getting over last weekend's big news that the Tea Party was apparently a racist movement, this comes out. A prominent Tea Party blogger has been expelled from "the group" for writing a hypothetical letter from "The Colored People" to Abraham Lincoln. Now, I haven't seen it, but you know this must be a really racist letter, because even the Tea Party doesn't approve, and we all know how racist they are.
seep found in well
Good news for all of you out there that enjoyed all that oil flowing into the ocean for the past 3 months. It appears BP may have to reopen the well after a seep was found yesterday. I may be reading this article wrong, but apparently so many people had become so used to watching video of the oil flowing into the ocean that when it suddenly stopped, the psychological effect was just too much for many citizens.
south carolina senate candidate
Yesterday, surprise Senate candidate from South Carolina, Alvin Greene, made his first public appearance since being nominated. Now, while he didn't actively campaign for the nomination, and he has zero political experience, he does want to get "America back to work" and other stuff like that. The good news for the country is that we never expect much out of the South Carolina contingent anyways.
hottest june on record
Well, it's official. Global warming must be real. This June was officially the hottest June on record, passing June of 2005. So, there you go, there is all the evidence you need…that's all I got to say about that.

brewers get hit by too many pitches
The Brewers are tired of getting by so many pitches…maybe they should play a safer sport, like soccer.

major league injuries
I told you baseball is dangerous. You can hurt yourself by not sneezing.

world's oldest champagne
The world's oldest champagne was found on a ship in the Baltic Sea. I wonder how they will celebrate the find…
two babies one week apart
I guess the first baby really wanted a younger sibling.
old dads
I can't imagine how awesome it would be showing up for your first day of college with your 90 year-old father.

If you missed the British Open, I guess you can get the basic story from this DVD, starring Open champ Louis Oostihuizen's doppelganger.