July 27, 2010 - CEO No Mo'!

bp ceo to step down
BP CEO Tony Hayward has finally found a way to his dream job: ex-BP CEO. After overseeing his company transition from another greedy, villainous, big money oil company to the company responsible for what is perhaps the largest environmental catastrophe we have ever seen, Hayward will be "stepping down" from his post and making room for a guy named Robert Dudley to take over. The good news for Dudley is there is nowhere to go but up, and the good news for Hayward is that they are shipping him off to Russia where no one will know who he is.
american with disabilities act anniversary
Americans marked the 20th anniversary of the Americans with Disabilities Act yesterday. Well, I'm sure a lot of you are just now either realizing that Monday was a significant day for the law, or that the law even existed in the first place. Either way, a new study shows that the act has done little to increase the quality of life of the disabled. Of course, it has improved the life of all those who like to use wheelchair ramps and handicapped stalls in public restrooms.
face transplant public appearance
The man who received a full face transplant this past March after nine unsuccessful attempts made his first public appearance on Monday displaying the results of the groundbreaking operation. Now, call me crazy, or insensitive, but I was under the impression that he would look a lot more like John Travolta or Nicolas Cage. If this is the end result, I'm calling up and cancelling my operation tomorrow.
matt garza no-hitter
Matt Garza pitched the first no-hitter in Tampa Bay Rays history last night in a victory over the Detroit Tigers. The Tigers were the victims of a bad umpiring call earlier in the season that cost their pitcher Armando Galarraga his no-hitter, but it's still the fifth no-hit game on the season. It almost makes you wish that they would just go back to pretending that no one uses steroids again.
wikileaks details emerging
A day after it was learned that wikileaks had lived up to its name and leaked nearly 100,000 classified documents from the United States military, the details were continuing to emerge about the contents of the leak. Essentially, they talk about the war in Afghanistan in painstaking detail. I don't know about you, but I can't wait for the paperback edition, so I can spend the next 15 years or so reading through it all.

next top imam reality show
There's a show in Malaysia where contestants compete to be an imam, which is just another word for "Islamic spiritual leader." I'd watch it only if they let Tyra judge.

blago brings kids to court
Blago brought his kids to court as his trial winds down. Apparently, he needed the emotional support as his life-sized Elvis statue is about to be auctioned off for charity if he doesn't pay $3,000 of storage fees.
lava destruction photos
The lava looks so smushy and bright and fun…then it burns your house down.
stadium food dangers
Turns out getting tased while running on the field is not the biggest danger one faces while attending a sporting event.
rookie doesn't want to be hazed
Publicly disrespecting your new co-workers on your first week on the job is not recommended in any profession, let alone the NFL.

Well, I guess old Tony Hayward could have used this one a few months ago. Maybe he can buy a copy for his successor as a welcoming gift?

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