July 23, 2010 - Rock You Like a Tropical Storm!

storm delays relief well
Just like real life, just when you think you are getting somewhere and making some progress on something, in comes some chick blowing through your life like a hurricane and throwing all your plans out of whack. In this case, it's the oil spill, and the broad just happens to be a little tropical storm named Bonnie. Either way, it's another ready-made excuse for BP when they don't solve the oil spill problem this weekend.
obama signs unemployment extension
Barack Obama officially signed into law an emergency extension of jobless benefits for another 90 days to aid the nearly 3 million people who were cut off when the program cut off in June. A similar vote was delayed by a filibuster in February, but avoided one this time when Kentucky Senator Jim Bunning fell asleep during the vote.
arizona immigration hearing
A federal judge expressed concerns about the constitutionality of a provision in the Arizona immigration law that requires one to carry their immigration papers with them at all times, however there is still no indication whether or not the judge will allow the law to go into effect next week, so Arizona police officers must continue to treat anyone who looks like an immigrant poorly with no protection under the law until that time.
record sales for microsoft
Believe it or not, but back in the day, the world was not run by Google, or Apple, or iPhones, or anything like that. It was run by a little software company named Microsoft, and a little man named Bill Gates. Well, they may not exert the dominance over the comptuer market like they once did, but Microsoft did record record sales yesterday as the market bounced over 200 points. This article gives you a history of Microsoft slogans...and maybe a little insight into how they fell from the top.
dell 100 million settlement
Speaking of former computer powerhouses, Dell paid over $100 million to settle charges of accounting fraud by the SEC. Dell, the computer manufacturer which rose to power in the mid-90's, apparently has not handled their decline as gracefully as Microsoft, but you know what they say, if you can't beat 'em, then work the books to overstate your revenue until you get caught.

lobster ban denied
Someone wanted to ban lobstering from Massachussets all the way down to the Carolinas…probably a group of powerful lobsters.

mcdonald's underwear bandit
To call this story bizarre would really be under-selling it.

man tries to slap train
This drunk guy told someone at the bar that he was going to "slap a train." Needless to say, he never came back.
iran banned hairstyles
Troy Polamalu and Kid Rock will not be welcomed in Iran any time soon.
sitting cuts lifespans
Like Ludacris said, stand up! It may just save your life…or extend it several years.

Oh, George Clooney, why did you have to get so greedy and lead Mark Wahlberg and your other men into the sea like that? Couldn't you just have settled for your original catch? Wasn't that good enough???