July 12, 2010 - Futbol's Finest!

spain world cup winners
The people in Spain are probably going a little loco (in a muy bueno way) right now after yesterday's big World Cup win over the orange crush of the Netherlands. It is the country's first World Cup victory in their history, and it now means that, combined with Rafa Nadal's current reign in tennis, Spain has a monopoly on sports that Americans know of, but really don't care all that much about.
barefoot bandit captured
Rest easy tonight, citizens of the Bahamas. The barefoot bandit, a teenage boy who has been on the run from a Pacific Northwest halfway house for the last two years, performing small-time burglaries along with larger-time plane thefts, has been apprehended after a movie-style chase scene. Don't worry, barefoot bandit fans, you too can sleep easy knowing that at least your hero went down true to his name: shoeless as the day he was born.
bp close to containment
BP says that they are moving closer and closer to containing the environmentally devastating oil leak in the Gulf Coast, if only they can get a snug containment cap in place over the next day or so. Of course, if you read this entire article, you will see that "the gulf's fate rests in part on a high-stakes plumbing job," which is a little less promising than BP's promises that they've almost fixed this little problem of theirs.
arizona immigration battle
David Axelrod, senior adviser to our fearless leader in Washington, defended the President's record on immigration yesterday as both sides geared up for the legal battle looming over Arizona's controversial immigration law. Of course, a lot of anti-immigration activists are not so sure that President Obama himself is here legally, so how good of a job could he possibly be doing if he is still around?
lance armstrong tour failure
Speaking of sports that Americans know of, but don't really care about, here is a cycling story! The thing about cycling is, Americans really don't know anything about it if it doesn't involve Lance Armstrong or doping of some sort, and with Lance Armstrong officially out of contention in this year's Tour de France, we need a major doping scandal before we hear about it back here again.

burger joints succeeding
Recession? What recession? Americans still spare no expense when it comes to eating the finest cholesterol-enhancing low-quality red meat money can buy.

prosthetic leg set on fire
I don't care how drunk you are, it's never a good idea to let your friends set your prosthetic limbs on fire.
jesse jackson rips dan gilbert
All I am going to tell you is that Jesse Jackson somehow manages to invoke symbolism of runaway slaves when talking about LeBron James move to Miami.
bad musician outfits
No, no, no…Lady Gaga wasn't the first musician to dress like an idiot…actually, it probably started with guys like Beethoven.
skinny dip record in san fran
Is it just me, or do these events usually end up with a surprising majority of participants being creepy-looking men?

Bandwagon? What bandwagon? My family is from Spain! I took Spanish in high school! Hablo Espanol!

1 comment:

  1. I am not sure that creepy is exactly the right word.

    I love the chick who says (as though she believes it): No one is looking at you.

    Oh. No. Everyone is looking at you.



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