ATTICA HIGH SCHOOL TOP 25 ALUMNI! (The Phenomenon Returns!)

There is a small town in the middle of Indiana somewhere known as Attica. In this town, there is a high school, and that high school has a website. That website was discovered many years ago by an aspiring doctor and sent on to a young Konway East. For many years, the website, and its picture directory of alumni provided entertainment to many. However, in recent years, the wesbite was nearly forgotten about by those who once enjoyed it so much...until now.
In a special wc,t presentation, Mr. Konway East presents you with the top 25 Attica High School alumni of all time. For more, you can visit Attica-Online's website...but we promise you, this right here is the best of the best.

The Honorable Mentions
25. Donald Gayler (1957)

At the time, Don Gayler was known for having Attica's flattest flat-top.

24. Matthew Bulla (1999)

Either this little guy accidentally thought this was the middle school photo shoot, or he was the Doogie Howser of Attica.

23. Velvet Wolf (1994)

Velvet Wolf. Real name. No gimmicks.

22. Shannon Billingsley (1990)

Any guesses as to how old Shannon Billingsley was when he finally graduated high school? I'm going with 25.

21. Corey R. Baker (1991)

Corey Baker and his mullet very nearly slept in on the day of his senior photo.

20. Anton Neumayer (1993)

"Hey, who wants a pizza-pie-ah?!?"

19. Bill (Sparky) Johnson (1999)

I wonder how much work Sparky had to put in to make his eyebrows look so evil.

18. Steve Martin (1993)

Despite the name, Steve Martin wanted everyone to know just how serious he and his little mustache really were.

17. Tonya Harper (1991)

The damage done to Tonya Harper's hair during her high school days must have been irreversible.

16. Amber Swift (1990)

This provocative stare tells you that Amber Swift knew she was the hottest broad at Attica in 1990.

The All-Stars
15. Chad Swift (1989)

Chad Swift spent most of his days in high school emulating his idol, Kirk Cameron.

14. Lisa Thomas Priest (1989)

LTP looks so uncomfortable in this picture, it really starts making you feel uncomfortable looking at it.

13. Thomas Norush II (1987)

Thomas Norush I must have been so proud of his son's perfect mullet.

12. John Bunch (1987)

Whoops. John Bunch got lost on his way to his band's performance opening for Motley Crue.

11. Lee Ann Tillotson Snyder (1975)

Lee Ann is almost certainly the mother of that big goon from the Mighty Ducks movies.

10. David Brent Sichts (1979)

If apathy was cool back in 1979, David Sichts must have been the Homecoming King.

The Hall of Famers
9. Art Stewart, Jr. (1981)

I have a good feeling you can find Art Stewart, Jr. in Attica today, wearing the exact same outfit, plus about 150-200 pounds.

8. Tammy Watkins (1990)

One look at Tammy Watkins and "You Make My Dreams Come True" by Hall and Oates starts playing in my head.

7. Richard Slinker (1975)

No one really knows what ever happened to crazy Dick Slinker after high school.

6. Kile Brier (1992)

Kile Brier absolutely nailed this shot, from the barely visible mustache to the glasses right down to the provocative stare, and he sure as hell knew it.

5. M. Jane Perry (1983)

Why do I get the feeling that M. Jane Perry just did something highly inappropriate or unhygienic right before this picture?

4. Roger Beedle (1983)

Rog Beedle's chest hair was named Most Likely To Succeed from the Class of 1983.

The ATTICA LEGENDS
3. Edward D. Durnil (1988)

Ed Durnil had to wear those oversized glasses to see the vast potential that his future held.

2. Shawn Crawford (1989)

No one in the entire history of Attica, before or since, has ever pulled off the perm with the grace and dignity of Shawn Crawford.

1. David Dill (1989)

The hair. The mustache. The sweater. When it comes to Attica high school alumni, David Dill is the total package.