June 3, 2010 - O is for Obama's Oil!

obama oil spill response
Oh boy. This oil spill thing is still happening, in case you were wondering, and it's really not working out so well for anyone, most notably BP, but also a guy named BO: Barack Obama. Short of swimming down there and plugging the hole himself, it doesn't look like Barack is going to be able to put a positive spin on this one.
netanyahu defends israel
While just about everyone else is condemning Israel's deadly attack on the flotilla headed to Gaza a couple days ago, Israel's Prime Minster said his country has a right to defend itself. However, and maybe it's just me, in the future, if you happen to get attacked by kids with squirt guns, you don't need to punch them in the face.
ump blows perfect game
Armando Galaragga pitched a perfect game last evening for the Detroit Tigers. The only problem? One ump wrongly called the last out safe at first, changing the perfect game to a one-hitter. To be fair, given this would have been the third one of the season, a perfect game would have been a much more mundane ending.
uk shooting spree
A taxi driver named Derrick Bird went on an extended shooting rampage in multiple cities in Britain yesterday, leaving 12 dead and 25 injured. So, as a public service reminder, taxi drivers are just one bad tip away from being disgruntled postal workers...tip your cabbies, please.
ken griffey jr retires
Ken Griffey Jr. apparently has decided that it is time to spend Mariners games sleeping at his house, rather than in their clubhouse with a uniform on, and so has chosen to retire. He leaves behind an unusual career for recent times with a tremendous amount of home runs, and nary a connection to performance-enhancing drugs to be found.

mom took beer 911 call
I didn't know it was a crime to call 911 when your mom hides the last 3 beers of your case. I gotta stop doing that.
bonfire fight about demons
When you look at the mugshots, you're gonna find it hard to side with the guys who got arrested in this little dispute (the oldest guy's "disguise" is pretty bad)...but the guy who got beat up, he was talking about demons and other types of voodoo, and that's just not appropriate bonfire talk.
old faithful lightning strike
These guys actually got their money's worth: two natural phenomenons at one time. Getting hit by lightning while watching the Old Faithful geyser? Those are both on my bucket list.
bin laden boarding pass
The British are known for their dry senses of humor. Even so, they should still know it's way too early to make an advertising joke about Osama bin-Laden being able to board an airplane.
george bush facebook
It's official, everyone's on Facebook. You don't even really have to know how to use a computer. First your dad joined, then grandma, then your dog, now George W. Bush.

Ahhhh, I'm sure every know and then, Mr. Obama puffs on a smooth cigarette and wishes he could go back to the simpler days when all he had to worry about was trying to stay atop the New York Times bestseller list.