June 28, 2010 - Don't Cry for U.S., Argentina!

us world cup run ends
The dream is over for all the bandwagon fans across the world's most powerful nation, whose soccer team was finally put out of its misery by that global power of, uh, Ghana. I thought we stole the kid who was supposed to change the game forever from them a few years back? Apparently, that didn't work out so well. The good news is those obnoxious fake-inury loving Argentines and their version of Ozzie Guillen are still alive, thanks to a weekend of continued questionable refereeing that must make that Jim Joyce guy smile.
tropical storm alex hits gulf
The first Atlantic storm of the year is kicking off the season this week in the Gulf Coast, but don't worry, it doesn't appear that it will hit any oil-affected areas, which means BP can keep plodding along attempting to fix that major oil leak, and all the oil out there can continue its day-to-day activities without any storm interruption.
robert byrd dies
Robert Byrd, Democrat from West Virginia, and hopefully the lone member of the United States Congress who once belonged to the Ku Klux Klan, has died. This comes as a major blow to a state that already has enough non-oil related troubles, as they apparently have no idea how one would even go about voting for anyone aside from 90+ year-old former Klan members named Robert Byrd.
kanye west bet awards
I could have put a post here about this weekend's G20 international financial blah blah summit in Canada, but I am sure even Barack Obama would even rather read about Kanye West's first on-stage appearance since his famous rant against Taylor Swift at the VMA awards last fall.
kellog's cereal recall
This should be extremely relevant news for all readers of this blog. I was not aware of this, but despite all modern research supporting a diet lower in high fructose corn syrup, it appears that Kellogg's still produces and sells cereals such as Froot Loops, Apple Jacks, Golden Smacks, and Corn Pops, which are essentially just different versions of flavored high-fructose corn syrup. Oh, it's also being recalled for very obvious reasons.

little girl on terror list
Whoever is in charge of putting together, maintaining and enforcing the no-fly list here in the United States is apparently just doing one hell of a job.
love songs help pickup ladies
Obvious news for all the men out there: trying to pick up more ladies? Put a little Marvin Gaye or Barry White on that iPod, son!
rarest animal in the world
Ever wondered what the rarest animal or insect in the world is? Well, someone did, and looked for answers in the most obvious place: Yahoo! Answers. The answer may surprise you…I guess.

michael jackson sand sculpture
Okay, this is from last year around this time, but still…someone found a way to make Michael Jackson look even scarier than he did in the years leading up to his death. That is NEWS!

regular fans woo lebron
Are you doing your part to get Lebron to help stimulate your local economy? Kenny Mayne finds out what average New Yorkers are doing to help the cause en La Manzana Grande.

Okay, the U.S. is out of the World Cup, but that doesn't mean you can't jump on another country's bandwagon. If they lose, so what, not like you have to live there! Here's a suggestion for your next best choice...