May 8-9 - fresh WEEKEND knowledge

DROP that FRESH WEEKEND knowledge!
(TEN crazy stories to get you through the weekend...because no one wants to read the REAL news on the WEEKEND!)

1. gilbert arenas released

NBA star was released after a 1-month stay in a halfway house for illegal possession of firearms, meaning he is now free to continue his crazy, mostly harmless antics.

2. jesus hit by car

Lord Jesus Christ was hit by a car. Don't worry, it didn't do nearly as much damage to him as this whole Pope scandal has.

3. popular baby names

Apparently, baby names are being influenced these days by the popular TV vampire series, Twilight. Seriously.

4. smoking good for you

That is the title of the article. No, it's not written by that camel named Joe, but there is a catch!

5. roland martin ascot

Roland Martin defends the fact that he likes to wear the antiquated fashion accessory for his appearances on CNN sometimes. Yet, his defense really makes it seem even dumber.

6. mark zuckerberg facebook book

They wrote a book about Facebook, well, the guy who started Facebook. Given his Harvard degree and insane comptuer programming skills, I have to imagine there is a large portion devoted to his romantic escapades.

7. bristol palin partying

Bristol Palin was spotted partying all night in New York City...likely to celebrate her recent discovery of the birth control pill.

8. plastic surgery families

In honor of Mother's Day this weekend...apparently, some moms and daughters do everything together...well, they get plastic surgery together at least.

9. world's biggest beaver dam

As my good friend and inspiration, Beavis, once said, "Excuse me, is this a God dam?"

10. attempted robbery eats note

Some old chick attempted to rob a bank using a note. Then she ate the note. It didn't work. At least she still has her looks.