May 7, 2010 - A Glitch in the System

What is EVERYONE talking about?!?
(The day's hottest topics, of course...)

1. wall street huge drop

A crazy day on Wall Street turned into what I guess will be one of those days we will all look back and laugh at...one day. Traders witnessed one of the most violent swings in history as the Dow Jones suddenly plummeted almost 1000 points, or about 10%. The sudden drop is now being blamed on erroneous trading of Procter & Gamble and other stocks, due to a glitch in computer algorithm trading systems. NASDAQ is now saying it will cancel all trades that appear to be a result of this glitch. The good news is that this would have been a lot scarier if Wall Street hadn't experienced the exact same thing every day for a 3 or 4 month period in 2008.

2. lawrence taylor rape

Another guy who had a tough day, but probably won't bounce back quite as quickly, is NFL Hall of Famer Lawrence Taylor. LT, as he was known, and I guess still is known to some, was arrested Thursday and charged with solicitation and raping a 16 year-old girl in New York. It's not the first time that the troubled former NFL star has been arrested. For that matter, it's not the first time that someone with NFL ties has been accused of sex-related crimes within the past couple months.

3. british election results

The Brits went to the polls yesterday, and it looks like Conservative David Cameron is going to come away with the victory over incumbent Gordon Brown and upstart Nick Clegg. This, of course, means we are going to have a hung Parliament. Well, we aren't going to have a hung parliament, the Brits are. I'm not really even sure what a hung Parliament is, but it sounds like the quirky, vaguely sexual thing those crazy Brits would be into.

4. morgan hill high school controversy

Racial tensions are mounting at Morgan Hill high school in California between Mexican-American students and their white counterparts. On Thursday, several Mexican students engaged in a walkout a day after several white students were sent home for wearing American flag clothing and paraphernalia to school to protest the school's celebration of Cinco de Mayo. Of course, these students claim they wore the clothing just because they really love America. One student's mom even said the boys were just being patriotic and displaying their individuality...because we all know how much more important it is to teenage boys to show their patriotic individuality than it is to go around starting trouble for no reason.

5. goodluck jonathan

Just a day after Nigerian president Umaru Yar'Adua passed away after a long battle with various illnesses, it seems the rest of the world is ready to move on. Of course, that may have less to do with the renewed sense of hope in the country and more to do with Nigeria's new leader, and his strikingly awesome name: Goodluck Jonathan. Goodluck's first order in office involved something about Patience...no wait, Patience is just his wife's name. Really makes you wonder what their kids names are, doesn't it?

6. new hampshire bus bomb scare

There's usually not a whole lot worse than riding a Greyhound bus. It's just like a long plane ride in a less comfortable, dirtier vehicle. Well, how about we throw in a passenger claiming that there is a bomb ready to explode on the bus? I guess things can get a little worse. A passenger finally surrendered in New Hampshire after a 9-hour standoff with police after he had claimed there was a bomb on the Greyhound bus he was on that was travelling from Maine to New York. No bomb was found on the bus, which is good, because Sandra Bullock and Keanu Reeves were not there to keep the bus going over 50mph.

7. pakistani taliban times square

Day 4 of the Pakistani Times Square Bomb Failure interrogation continued yesterday, as investigators explored the suspect's connections in Pakistan and tried to determine what, if any, foreign ties were at play in the attempt. The Pakistani Taliban are still believed to be the ones behind the attempt, as they have been extending their alliances since their formation in 2007, in order to extend their crazy terrorist jihad-type reach to American. I guess if this is the best they can do, we don't have too much to worry about.

8. oil onshore louisiana

As BP dropped their massive "containment dome" into the water to try and stop the oil leak in the Gulf of Mexico, oil slowly crept on the shores of Louisiana yesterday. This, of course, is bad news for the environment, and bad news for all those drivers in Louisiana who thought they could bring their cars down to the shore and change their oil. I'm pretty sure this oil doesn't work like that just yet.

9. detlef schrempf guest star

Former NBA star Detlef Schrempf made the most random, yet awesome, television guest appearance in the history of television last night. Schrempf, who played for the Indiana Pacers at one time, among other teams, was no longer sporting his signature flat-top, but was otherwise stellar in his acting debut on NBC's Parks & Recreation. I'm really not sure how they got a star of Schrempf's caliber to agree to be on the show, other than maybe offering him a few bucks and a free meal.

10. jamarcus russell released

With the NFL Draft just in our rearview mirrors, and hundreds of college-aged kids set to try and find their place in the league, we find a cautionary tale for these NFL hopefuls that doesn't involve sex or drugs or guns or dog-fighting or jailtime (or a myriad of other legal/life troubles). Just because you are a highly-rated draft pick making millions of dollars, does not mean you are guaranteed to be a superstar in the league. Just ask Jamarcus Russell, the #1 overall pick in 2007, who was cut by the Oakland Raiders yesterday. Of course, even if you never play, you can still keep all the guaranteed money in your contract...so don't forget to hold out for that big signing bonus!

Drop that FRESH knowledge!
(These topics are getting hot...)

1. human part cavemen
Apparently, some humans are 4% neanderthal. Except for the GEICO cavemen, who are much higher.

2.stephen hawking time travel
I think Stephen Hawking says that people will be able to time travel one day...if they can perfect the flux capacitor. I don't know, I can't understand a word that guy types.

3. woman trapped by huge breasts
I think this story speaks for itself. If not, I suppose you can always read it.