May 4, 2010 - Blame it on BP!


What is EVERYONE talking about?!?
(The day's hottest topics, of course...)

1. oil spill disaster bp
Each day that passes, and the situation seems to get more dire in the Gulf Coast, with rumors spreading that the oil spill could just wipe states like Mississippi and Louisiana off the map, and kill every dolphin in the world. It started out so innocently, so you really have to wonder how a little oil spill has turned into the apoc-oil-ypse so quickly. Well, ask just about anyone and they will tell you that almost all of the blame falls on the oil tycoons at BP and their poor planning efforts. Although, to be fair, it's easy to forgot to plan when you are raking in billions and billions of dollars. Just ask the financial industry.

2. tennessee floods
While the Gulf Coast deals with a mixture of oil and water, states just to the North have enough on their hands just dealing with water. Areas like Nashville have been the hardest hit, and various sections remain underwater, as flooding from heavy rains over the weekend have left at least 22 people dead. Needless to say, you can expect a lot of sad country music songs about water and flooding in the coming year or so.

3. car bomb suspect arrested
A 30 year-old Pakistani man has been arrested in connection with the failed car bomb left at Times Square over the weekend. While I have no idea how, somehow the FBI managed to locate the suspect by tracking the number on a temporary cell phone back to a listing for a Nissan Pathfinder on Craigslist in Connecticut. I believe the neighbor's cousin's dog was also involved, but again, I don't really know how the FBI would ever put all that together.

4. virginia lacrosse murder
Ahhhh, to be young and in love. It's really probably overrated, mostly thanks to silly stories like Romeo and Juliet. The case of Yeardley Love and George Huguley is a perfect example. Huguley stands accused of murdering Love after she was found dead in her apartment this weekend. The two were standout lacrosse players for the nationally ranked University of Virginia teams, and had been romantically involved. So, if you are thinking about letting your son or daughter play lacrosse in college one day, you might want to start thinking twice.

5. pakistani guilty mumbai attacks
Yesterday was a bad day for Pakistani terrorists. Aside from waking up and realizing that they were Pakistani terrorists, the one fellow was caught after his failed car bombing of Times Square, and a 22 year-old Pakistani fellow on the other side of the world in India was found guilty of killing 166 people in Mumbai in 2008. The judge in the case issued a 1,522 page ruling, so this guy wasn't just guilty, he was like really really guilty.

6. US nuclear arsenal
As the seemingly neverending string of nuclear summits continues across the world, the United States revealed yesterday the extent of its nuclear arsenal. On cue, a very jealous President Ahmadinejad of Iran, accused the U.S. of lying about the size of their arsenal. Secretary of State Hillary Clinton responded by talking about the size and strength of the U.S.'s arsenal, and mocking Iran's non-existent arsenal. That's what she said. No, really, that is what she said.

7. american us airways deal
Just a day after United completed its deal with Continental to become the largest airline in the world, American Airlines was scrambling to find a partner to keep up with the new mega-airline. While no deal appears imminent, I am sure air travelers across the world are thrilled at the idea of having not one, but two fewer options to choose from when flying.

8. boston water emergency
While the Gulf Coast deals with oil-stained water, and Tennessee deals with too much water, residents in the city of Boston were still dealing with the complete opposite yesterday, as their water supply was cut off this weekend when a huge underground water main ruptured. Fortunately, the boil-water ban was lifted this morning, as Boston tap water was finally determined safe enough to drink again. Good news for Boston residents who were growing tired of drinking that steaming hot tap water and that really salty ocean water for the past few days.

9. oklahoma abortion law blocked
Bad news for all those in favor of ridiculously extreme state laws yesterday evening, as the attorney general in Oklahoma temporarily blocked enforcement of Oklahoma's new abortion law that would require all pregnant woman to receive ultrasounds and hear detailed descriptions of what human babies look like. I think it really crossed the line when it required doctors to tell patients that the unborn fetus could already be heard saying "mama."

10. chelsea handler sex tape
So, Chelsea Handler, the questionably funny, but undeniably attractive late-night host/female comedian was reported to have a sex tape by RadarOnline a few days ago. Handler then came out on her show and angrily denied the tape's existence...wait, no, actually, she didn't deny it, she angrily said it was real, but she knew about it, and it was just a joke. So, I guess Handler is trying to say that the sex tape is real, but she would show it to you anyways, if you came over to her house, so it's not a big deal? Am I the only one missing the logic on this one?

Drop that FRESH knowledge!
(These topics are getting hot...)

1.roger ebert 3d
Roger Ebert hates 3D. Apparently, it has nothing to do with Avatar, but he has hated it since a bad trip to Universal Studios in the late 80's.
2. david boreanaz cheated
I guess David Boreanaz announced to the world that he cheated on his wife? Maybe he figured he could sneak it in there and no one would notice any more?
3. obese kids bullied
A recent study shows that obese kids are more likely to be bullied. Wait, no, this study was done at the beginning of civilization.

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