May 3, 2010 - A Bombed Bombing

What is EVERYONE talking about?!?
(The day's hottest topics, of course...)

1. times square bombing attempt

Times Square can be a dangerous place, (although it is not nearly as dangerous as it was before Rudy Giuiliani came in and cleaned house.) However, while you might see some crazy stuff out there any time you stop by, let's hope you never see anything like they found there on Saturday evening. Police found a smoking Nissan Pathfinder on a busy street near the area carrying various explosive materials, including what is believed to be a very crudely-made car bomb. Fortunately, the device malfunctioned...but, even so, the whole incident has to be a little bit unsettling for New Yorkers. Now, the rush is on for terrorist groups to claim responsibility for the failed attempt, which makes you think, for people that hate America, they sure love getting their names on TV.

2. united continental merger

After months of talks with various smaller airlines, United has finally settled on a merger with their next biggest competitor, Continental Airlines. Together, the two will form the largest airline in terms of global traffic. Of course, the only thing that this means for customers is more delayed flights to choose from, and more places to have the luggage you paid $50 to get on the plane accidentally sent.

3. obama oil spill visit

As the impact of this oil spill continues to grow day by day, and has some people now claiming it could be more devastating than Katrina was to the Gulf Coast, President Obama figured now was a good time to check things out. In between working out some way to fit this in between immigration debate, financial reform, and the implemenation of his Socialist regime, Obama is putting pressure on BP to stop the fallen rig from leaking, and pay for all damages. Which leads me to the question, wait, that oil rig that sunk into the ocean last week is still leaking? And where is a little oil company like BP gonna get the money to cover all this?

4. super saver calvin borel

Alright, how about a more uplifting story coming out of the Gulf Coast in the form of a miniature Cajun man named Calvin. Calvin Borel that is. Borel is quickly becoming the most well-known jockey across the world after riding 3 of the past 4 Kentucky Derby winners including this weekend's Kentucky Derby winner Super Saver. Which is really a shame, because I could write anything I want about him here and he would never know it, because he can't even read (well, he's not very good at reading, at least)! Although, I suppose someone could always tell him...

5. tennessee floods

Speaking of the Kentucky Derby, while the horses were subject to quite a bit of rain on Saturday, the only fallout they had to deal with was a little mud, and maybe their oats tasted a little watery. Meanwhile, people in other Southern states, most notably Tennessee, had to deal with heavier rains, and worse yet, deadly floods. While sad, it's probably better that the people dealt with the floods, and the horses just mud, because I am pretty sure horses are not strong swimmers.

6. obama correspondents dinner

It sure seems like that President Obama is everywhere, doesn't it? Some people even have nightmares of him dressed as the Joker from that last Batman movie. Well, in addition to visiting the site of the massive Gulf Coast oil spill yesterday, Mr. Obama attended the annual White House Correspondents' Association dinner on Saturday evening. At the dinner, Obama displayed a self-deprecating humor that delivered a lot of laughs. The only people who weren't laughing were members of the Tea Party, who no longer enjoy the freedom to laugh that enjoyed when they were children in this once-great nation.

7. conan o'brien talks

Conan O'Brien finally broke his silence on the drama that saw him land the hosting gig of the Tonight Show from Jay Leno, only to have to give it back to Leno several months later. It turns out that, surprisingly enough, O'Brien was not happy with this turn of events. His wife is even claiming he was depressed for a while. Of course, that all turned around when he realized his boyhood dream of hosting a late-night show on TBS, leading in for George Lopez.

8. warren buffet economy

One of the world's richest men, and certainly the richest man in Omaha, Nebraska shared his thoughts on the economy, and his share in the troubled Goldman Sachs this weekend. Buffet said while he thinks the economy is turning around, and Goldman will be just fine, he is still planning on wasting away in Margaritaville and enjoying a Cheeseburger in Paradise for the time being. Wait, wait, I'm getting all my Buffets mixed up now.

9. boston water cutoff

Two million people were cut off from their drinking water this weekend in Boston, as a massive underground pipe ruptured on Saturday. Workers began repairing the pipe yesterday, and urged citizens to boil their water before drinking it. So, I imagine there will be a lot of people showing up at Boston hospitals with burnt mouths over the next few days.

10. greece bailout package

Greece has finally agreed to a bailout package of $146 million over the next 3 years in order to began repaying their debt. In exchange, Greece has agreed to make several cuts to its budget, and will order that all weddings proceed as normal weddings, and not in the customary big fat Greek tradition.

Drop that FRESH knowledge!
(These topics are getting hot...)

1. crazy mascot dunk
A man wore a giant deer costume, a basketball uniform, fell from a ladder on to a giant padded mat, and dunked a basketball all the same time.
2. fake gatorade saves lives
Turns out Gatorade-like beverages are good for more than just making you Be Like Mike.
3. celebrities at derby
Wait, is Johnny Weir gay?