May 1-2, 2010 - HORSESTOCK 2010!

What is EVERYONE talking about?!?
(The day's hottest topics, of course...)

1. rain kentucky derby
Seeing as it is the first Saturday in May, millions of people across the world have banded together to engage in the annual tradition of blowing a bunch of money on Kentucky Derby bets. The talk of the Derby this weekend is not currently focused on the missing favorite Eskendereya, or current favorite sitting in pole position, Lookin at Lucky, but on the weather, as torrential downpours threaten to make Churchill Downs into a muddy mess. That's why you will hear a lot of horses referring to this year's event as "our Woodstock."

2. oil spill blame
As the oil spill drama continues along the Gulf Coast, wildlife rescue teams scramble to begin trying to rescue affected wildlife, Barack Obama is scheduling a visit to the region, and BP is looking around for someone to blame for this whole thing. Unfortunately, it appears that they have no one to blame but themselves, and it seems they were woefully underprepared for such a major spill. In fact, their internal slogan was "Don't Cry Over Spilled Oil."

3. tiger woods misses cut
In a shocking turn of events, Tiger Woods, a guy who has spent much of the past 6 months in a sex rehab clinic in Mississippi, missed the cut at the Quail Hollow Championship after shooting a 9-over 79 in his second round. It was one of the worst rounds of golf in Woods' professional career. Afterwards, Woods said he needed to go somewhere nice and quiet where he could "unwind" for a few days, and hopped on a plane to Vegas.

4. arkansas storms
Less than a week after Mississippi was struck by deadly tornadoes, Arkansas felt the power of the cyclone last evening. Fortunately, these storms were a bit milder than Mississippi's, but still left several people dead and injured. The bad news is that it appears the worst of the storms may hit Saturday. So, if you are thinking about going to Arkansas today...well, I'm not sure why you would be thinking that in the first place.

5. children's medicine recall
A voluntary recall was issued for a variety of Children's over the counter drugs yesterday, including Motrin, Tylenol and other cold and allergy medications. The reason stated for the recall was that the drugs did not meet quality standards. Apparently, there were a lot of babies out there who were unable to get relief from the headaches they get from being treated like they are 2 years old all the time.

6. mayweather mosley
Well, after you get done watching all those horses run around in the mud this evening, flip over to HBO if you can, and watch two aging 145-pound dudes fight each other for millions of dollars. This should round out a perfect day of watching and irresponsibly gambling hundreds of dollars on sports you probably would normally never watch or care about.

7. may day immigration marches independent
With all the talk in the world of Mexican-Americans centering around Arizona's new immigration law, and the controversy heating up as a deputy was allegedly shot by drug-carrying illegal immigrants along the Arizona border yesterday, people aren't waiting until Cinco De Mayo to gather together and make lots of noise. Immigration groups will hold marches across the country this weekend to show their support for immigrants in this country. I am still not clear if pinatas or margaritas will be involved.

8. kim kardashian burrito airplan
Rumors have spread across the internet that Kim Kardashian caused a ruckus on an airplane this week by carrying on, and eating, a burrito during the flight. However, Kardashian is denying all rumors via her blog. Mexican-Americans instantly decided that Kardashian's anti-burrito stance was indefensible and added it to their list of offensive incidents which they will march against today.

9. halle berry breakup
Bad news for all you romantics out there. Halle Berry and model Gabriel Aubry have split up. This is also bad news for the cougars out there, as there is now officially one more cougar on the prowl, and she is an estimated 100-200 times better-looking than you.

10. shanghai expo opening
Hundreds of thousands of people showed up at Day 1 of the Shanghai Expo yesterday, only to endure long waits to get into the massive Chinese gala. The Expo is expected to run for 6-months, and is considered bigger than the 2008 Beijing Olympics. But, having said that, be warned, if you are showing up just to see Michael Phelps, I am pretty sure he will not be there.

Drop that FRESH knowledge!
(These topics are getting hot...)

1. world's biggest rabit
You thought that new movie Furry Vengeance was scary? Here's a real-life Furry Vengeance waiting to happen.
2. lady gaga troop remake
What's better than watching a Lady Gaga video, besides just about anything? How about watching a bunch of American troops in Afghanistan remake that video?
3. jenny craig joe torre horses
If you get real rich or famous one day, you too could live the dream of owning part of a Kentucky Derby horse, just like Jenny Craig or Joe Torre.

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