April 30, 2010 - SPILL BABY SPILL? Wait, is that right?

What is EVERYONE talking about?!?
(The day's hottest topics, of course...)

1. oil spill emergency

As the massive oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico reached the coast this morning, a state of emergency was declared in Louisiana yesterday. Although, between hurricanes, Mardi Gras, Bobby Jindal and oil spills, it's not really clear if they are ever in a state of non-emergency. Also, experts are now fearing that the oil spill might be 5 times worse than originally predicted, which really just means that oil spill experts really are not very good at their job.

2. goldman sachs criminal

While the Senate investigation may have left Goldman execs feeling slightly less awesome about themselves than usual, I am pretty sure they went home to their multi-million dollar mansions, poured themselves a nice glass of champagne, called over one of their mistresses and forgot all about those mean old Senators. However, it now appears that some of them may have bigger problems to worry about. The self-proclaimed "Fab" Fabrice Tourre and other Goldman employees may now be facing criminal charges from the Feds. Not surprisingly, Tourre was still confident they would work out some kind of deal.

3. arizona law backlash

Arizona, lead by their fearless governor/possible racist Jan Brewer, is facing backlash for their recent hard-lined racial profiling legalization, and this backlash seems to be growing exponentially every day. Apparently, it seems as if Brewer was getting her governing advice from none other than one Mr. Rod Blagojevich.

4. steve jobs flash

Apple just can't go more than 2 days without making some kind of announcement to get themselves back in the headlines. This time is a little bit different however, as they are announcing something they will NOT be doing. What they will not be doing is using flash programming on their iPhones any time soon. Steve Jobs posted a variety of reasons for the decision, but left out the real reason, which is quite clear: someone over at Adobe, who makes Flash, has clearly wronged the imperial master Mr. Jobs.

5. gdp increase

Good news for the economy was released today, as the US GDP has increased by 3.2% in the first quarter of the year. Consumers have no one but themselves to thank, as the return of reckless spending was the likely driver of the improved numbers.

6. kentucky oaks

You know how they always say "Ladies First," well, it appears that horses abide by this rule as well. With the 136th Kentucky Derby scheduled to be run tomorrow evening in driving thunderstorms, the lady horses will lead off today at the Kentucky Oaks. Unlike other women's sports, the entertainment value really doesn't decrease significantly in horse racing.

7. charlie crist independent

Charlie Crist is apparently tired of Florida not getting the attention they deserve for their unusual political stylings. He is afraid that other, more extremist states like Arizona and Oklahoma are stealing the spotlight. So, he has decided to run for Senate as an independent, making it a 3-way race for the Senate seat in Florida this fall. The majority of the state's population seem confused at the move, saying they didn't know why these young kids are always trying to be so independent.

8. nightmare on elm street

This weekend's biggest nightmare movie is one called Furry Vengeance, starring Brendan Fraser as a ruthless tycoon who crosses paths with a variety of angry animals. However, don't overlook the remake of the horror classic, Nightmare on Elm Street which hits theaters tonight. If that last appearance on Maury didn't help scare your kids straight, this might do the trick.

9. tiger quail hollow

While hearing the phrase "Tiger Woods at Quail Hollow" may sound like some strange sexual adventure, that is probably just because you have a dirty mind, or because Tiger Woods is widely perceived as a sexual deviant with nothing else on his mind, but he does still play golf, and he is doing it with Phil Mickelson and others at Quail Hollow this weekend...playing golf, come on now.

10. schwarzenegger president

I know we've all had the dream, but then you wake up and realize that you have to be a natural-born citizen to run for President in the U.S., making it impossible for Arnold Schwarzenegger to run, even if he wanted to. But, let's just say that the law was changed one day...Arnold says he would be willing to make a run if that were the case. I have to imagine that would go over real well with all the "birthers" out there, who believe some U.S. citizens aren't even citizen enough to be President.

Drop that FRESH knowledge!
(These topics are getting hot...)

1. brazil pink dress
Wanna get famous? Wear a short pink dress, move to Brazil, get expelled from school. Really, it's just that simple these days.
2. shanghai expo
Looking for something to do this weekend? Maybe you should head to Shanghai for the massively extravagant Shanghai Expo. What is the Expo all about? I don't know, maybe that's part of the fun, though.
3. alabama english only
This is a real political ad...as far as I know. It may even be from the present, and not 40 years ago! However, it seems like a big assumption to say that the crazy Southern dialect that Alabamans speak is really "English" though.