May 28, 2010 - eXXXon-RATED!

biggest oil spill in history
It's official, thanks to some hard work from BP, the oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico has gained the title of the worst oil spill in U.S. history. As expensive as that stuff is, you would really think that people would be scrambling to stop it from leaking...I mean, that's just like leaking straight cash into the ocean.
don't ask don't tell repeal
In what I think is supposed to be a victory for gay rights activists, the Senate voted yesterday to repeal Don't Ask, Don't Tell, which, of course, means that gays can now serve their countries, give their lives in wars they don't really believe in, and be generally under appreciated or exploited, without having to worry about being discriminated against.
gaza flotilla
No, it's not a new menu item being offered by Taco Bell, although, it could be. It's a sea vessel carrying activists and heading towards the Gaza strip, trying to break up an Israeli blockade. I'll be honest, it sounded a lot better when I thought it was on the Taco Bell menu.
kenneth starr financial adviser fraud
Kenneth Starr has been a financial adviser to stars like Goldie Hawn, and tax-evader Wesley Snipes, so who would have ever suspected that he was ripping off his clients to the tune of $30 million? Strange that someone in control of a lot of money would act fraudulently...can't remember the last time I saw that happen.
gary coleman critical condition
Gary Coleman is 42 years old...that still shocks me every time I hear that he's not 14. He's also in critical condition in a hospital in Utah facing his third medical emergency this year. Which makes me think, "What'chu doin' in Utah, Willis...or Arnold...or, uh, Gary?" 50 cent gaunt
Apparently, rapper 50 Cent has lost over 60 pounds in preparation for an upcoming movie role. It was actually much easier than he thought it would be. All he had to do was stop taking all those steroids.
passenger asleep on plane
As far as I'm concerned, there is one rule to follow when sleeping on a bus, train or plane: sleep with one eye open. Also, try to wake up before the trip ends.
sex and the city 3
Sex and the City stars say there is still enough story left to make another sequel. Personally, I think I'd rather watch a Spencer Pratt-Heidi Montag documentary...actually, that one might be pretty good.
sarah palin new neighbor
Some author has decided to move next door to Sarah Palin while he writes a book about her. In a strange twist on the story, it appears he hates people who invade others' privacy...no, wait, just people who invade his privacy.
silly bandz banned
Heard of Silly Bandz? That's probably because you aren't in 4th grade. Any ways, if it's up to some super-fun-loving adults, they won't be around much longer anyways..

I could sell you on this DVD all day, but I guess I would have to make the assumption that you don't already own the entire Different Strokes series on DVD. Still, it never hurts to have two copies. Do it for Mr. Drummond!