May 25, 2010 - Get The Oil Out of Here!

Today's BIG news!
oil spill update
This Gulf Coast oil spill is still a mess. In fact, it might be an even bigger mess now than ever before. I don't just mean that metaphorically, either. I don't know, man, if you have time to keep up with this entire saga, then you have way too much time on your hands. Time to get a hobby!
south korea punishes north korea
South Korea apparently doesn't approve of the rogue state to its north, with the miniature crazy man leading it, shooting torpedoes at its ships for no good reason. The U.S. appears to side with South Korea on this one. Although, to be fair, I'm not sure anyone ever willfully agrees with anything Kim Jong-Il does.
slipknot bassist dead
Slipknot bassist Paul Gray was found dead in a hotel room in Iowa yesterday. No one is clear how the musician, known for wearing a crazy-looking mask during performances, died. The only thing we know is that this is a devastating blow to Des Moines, IA's music scene, knocking the number of full bands down to 3.
nfl supreme court
The Supreme Court ruled yesterday that the NFL cannot gain any extra antitrust protection because it is a collection of 32 individual, independent teams, except for the Saints who don't count as a real team...wait, what? the Saints are good now? They won the Super Bowl this year?
facebook apology
Facebook CEO and wunderkind Mark Zuckerberg apologized for the recent privacy problems that have plagued users of the service. Unfortunately, it is probably too little, too late for the 2,000 or so members who have already pledged to quit, but the remaining 399.998 million users seem to be okay with it.

Now drop that FRESH knowledge!
star eats planet
The Hubble Telescope caught a hungry star eating its own planet yesterday, which may have seemed like a good idea at the time, but that star is now technically an orphan, and should now expect a visit from DCFS.
phillipines president smoking
Filipino president-elect Benigno Aquino said he is not ready to quit smoking, because he is scared it will effect his, honestly, he just loves the feel of that warm tasty smoke in his lungs.
man bites man at dog park
I don't see what the big deal is with this story. Why should the dogs get to have all the fun at the dog park? Actually, dogs do a lot crazier stuff than this.
ultra pure heroin
If you're into heroin, look out for an ultra-pure heroin going around which kills you instantly. Also, maybe just stop doing heroin altogether.
dwayne bowe nfl sex stories
Apparently, some players in the NFL like to have sex with random women. They actually take that part of their job pretty seriously, according to Chiefs wide receiver, the now friendless Dwayne Bowe.

PRODUCT of the day!
Now, if you haven't tried snake oil before, trust me, you are in for a real treat. There is no limit to what this stuff can do!

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