May 26, 2010 - The Super COLD Bowl

Today's BIG news!
super bowl new jersey
The Super Bowl is coming to...New Jersey. That's right, so if you were counting on heading to a tropical location for the 2014 Super Bowl, first of all, you are planning way too far in advance, and second of all, global warming is now going to need to advance much more rapidly to make this happen for you.
jamaica violence
Hey, mon! Okay, I suppose this isn't the best time to break out the written Jamaican accent, seeing as the nation's capital is under siege from drug-related violence that has left more than 30 people dead, so for now, let' just hope that the island nation can return to the days of more hopeful bobsledding-related stories soon.
obama troops border
President Obama spent most of yesterday yelling at GOP members of Congress. After leaving several Congressmen in tears, or the male equivalent thereof, Obama then ordered 1200 troops to the Mexican-U.S. border to stop all those Tea Partiers from fleeing the U.S. for greener, less Communist pastures...or at least I think that's their main order.
top kill oil plug
You know, every day, I wake up thinking that maybe I'm going to check the news and not see an oil-spill related headline. It certainly does not appear that today is that day. Get prepared to hear the words "top kill" a lot's no longer just the name of a movie that Steven Seagal will make, or has made, at some point.
american idol finale
Simon Cowell's farewell tour on American Idol has nearly reached its conclusion, and it just so happens to coincide with the conclusion of a battle for some type of contest for a couple of young singing hopefuls, neither of whom carry nearly the importance of the aforementioned Simon Cowell. Tune in tonight to see Simon's final insulting comments on the show.

Now drop that FRESH knowledge!
dangerous restaurant meals
Consider yourself lucky if you've gone all these years without finding a razor blade in your Halloween candy...but it turns out it might just be more dangerous to go to your local chain restaurant.
commencement address to wrong school
You really do get what you pay for. Get some budget D-list celeb named Anne Curry to give your commencement address, and she just might go and say something silly...
high-tech ankle bracelet
Just when you think technology can't get any better, someone comes up with an ankle bracelet that supposedly can keep Lindsey Lohan out of trouble. I'll believe it when I see it.
spat upon bus drivers
It turns out the only thing more humiliating for bus drivers than telling people what you do for a living is being spat upon by your passengers. You never forget long as you can get worker's comp for it, at least.
michigan self-imposed sanctions
Like a little kid putting themselves in timeout, the University of Michigan football program has imposed sanctions upon itself before the NCAA could come in and take away some of their favorite toys. I forgot what we were talking about...

PRODUCT of the day!
If you ask me, the best parts of any NFL game are the follies. If only there was a way to watch an entire collection of the NFL's most humorous plays all in one place...well, now there is! Catch all the NFL's most classic follies on one DVD!

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