May 17, 2010 - All Thai-ed Up!

Today's BIG news!
1. thailand protest death toll
All hell is continuing to break loose in Bangkok as Thai troops are still trying to put down the infamous anti-government Red Shirts. As the death tolls have risen to 30, the Red Shirts continue to fight on using any type of homemade weapon they can manage. So, basically, if you want Thai food, try your local Thai restaurant...this might not be the best time to get the real thing.
2. oil spill success
As oil execs seem to finally be finding success in containing the spill, and it appears the environmental damage done on land may be minimal, environmentalists are now concerned that the spill may have major effects under water. Apparently, this somehow qualifies as news.
3. lookin at lucky preakness
Lookin' At Lucky bounced back from a disappointing Kentucky Derby to win the Preakness Stakes this weekend. Unfortunately, he's just a horse, so he really doesn't even know what happened.
4. rhode island teachers rehired
Remember that school in Rhode Island that fired their entire teaching staff in February due to generally extremely subpar student performances? Well, even if you don't remember, it happened, but they have apparently reached a deal to hire them all back. They just had to promise to act more like various inspirational teachers from movies.
5. celtics beat magic
On another day of NBA and NHL playoff action, the Celtics were victorious over the previously unbeaten Magic, the Blackhawks beat the Sharks, and the Flyers beat the Cinderella French-Canadiens. Of course, none of this has anything to do with Lebron James, so no one really seems to care.

Now drop that FRESH knowledge!
1. octopus eats shark
Just a reminder of one of the most important rules of nature: never underestimate any creature that has 8 arms with scary little suction cups all over them.
2. graduation delayed 40 years
A bunch of 60 year-olds finally graduated from Boston University after they were banned from their original graduation ceremony 40 years ago. Unfortunately, due to the bad job market, they will probably have to continue living in their parents basement either way.
3. bill cosby jell-o
Bill Cosby and Jell-o are finally getting back together after nearly 10 years apart, which is enough to make me want to go eat an entire 6-pack of Jell-o immediately.
4. mt. everest supersuit
A Canadian mountaineer is planning on climbing Mt. Everest in a space-age suit that is only millimeters thick, and may insulate too well! No matter how the climb goes, I am willing to guess this is the last thing you will ever hear about this guy.
5. sarah palin redneck jokes
Sarah Palin's Redneck comedy tour continues. Warning: This is for the REAL Americans ONLY! Well, if by REAL Americans, you mean, somewhere less than 1% of Americans.

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