April 9, 2010 - Golf Club Time Machine

What is EVERYONE talking about?!?
(The day's hottest topics, of course...)

 As first reported somewhere else, the world's oldest man, Justice John Paul Stevens is officially retiring from the Supreme Court.

Fred Couples. Tom Watson. Leaders of the latest Senior PGA tour event? Think again, my ageist friends. These are your leaders after day 1 at The Tradition Unlike Any Other. On top of that, I swear I keep hearing the voice of the deceased Earl Woods. It's really starting to feel like we've time traveled to a different era...an era where Tiger Woods (who is lurking just two shots back of senior citizen Couples) was not known primarily as a sexual deviant.

Am I the only one who is getting absolutely sick and tired of hearing about this whole iPad craze? Judging from the video where the kids bought one and immediately smashed it, I think not...but fear not, for Steve Jobs has come to save the day with a brand new operating system for the iPhone. This will probably be followed by version 2.0 of the iPad some time next week.
Bart Stupak, Michigan Democrat, better known to Republican Congressmen as Bart "Baby Killer" Stupak has announced he will not seek re-election this fall to the seat he has held for 18 years in the House. Not sure what the general reaction will be to this announcement, but Fox News reports in its latest poll that unborn babies support the move unanimously.
Rio de Janeiro has a big few years ahead of it. They will host the World Cup in 2014, then the Summer Olympics in 2016. Unfortunately, while the future looks bright, the present is a little more cloudy...and rainy...and muddy. Mudslides caused by torrential downpours are wreaking havoc on the hillside shanty town population that makes up much of Rio.
Looking for a good idea for a date this evening? Hmmmm, I'm sure you could head out and catch a nice dinner and then maybe, I don't know, head to the theater to see Clash of the Titans? I heard that is supposed to be pretty intense, and very romantic. Or if you are in the mood for a more comedic turn, how about Hot Tub Time Machine, which stars Craig Robinson of NBC's The Office. Other than that, I really don't know what other movies are out there this weekend.
As parts of the country mourned the death of a leading white supremacist, and rescue workers in West Virginia still face the nearly impossible task of rescuing trapped coal miners, South Africa received a $3.75 Billion dollar loan from the World Bank to build one of the world's largest coal-fired power plants. So, there you have it, finally a way to tie West Virginia coal mining and South Africa racism together in one subject.
Greece's financial problems apparently have not just gone away. However, depending on who you talk to, they should be just fine, or the entire country may just float away to sea within the next 5 years. Which would be karma for taking such poor care of the Parthenon.
Newt Gingrich attended something called the Southern Republican Leadership Conference (which I assume is one group celebrating the newly established Confederate History month) last evening, and demanded that President Obama stop shooting 3-pointers. "Shooting three-point shots may be clever, but it doesn't put anybody to work," Gingrich proclaimed. Clearly, he wants Obama to start working the ball inside to his big men more.

As 33 states have run out of money to provide jobless benefits to residents, Jim Bunning is preparing for another filibuster as up to 1,000,000 could lose their jobless benefits this month if Congress does not extend them. President Obama had no comment, as he was out back working on his 3-point shot.

In a moderately ironic twist, the wife of a producer of the show Survivor was on a trip to Mexico with her husband and children, when she was violently attacked and left for dead outside of her hotel. She did not survive.

Drop that FRESH knowledge!
(These topics are getting hot...)

1. dr. house real patients
Bedside manner be damned. Apparently, most hospital patients would rather have Hugh Laurie treat them than a real doctor.
2. facebook mom charged
"Yo, mom, I told you to stop messing around with my Facebook account. Don't make me call my lawyer again."
3. fighting sioux mascot
The University of North Dakota will no longer be referred to as the Fighting Sioux. I believe they are changing their name to the Fighting Sue, and the mascot will just be some really angry lady named Sue.


1 comment:

  1. You've got a true Follower over at the Singh household. Love the hot topics.


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