April 8, 2010 - Master(s) of his Domain?

What is EVERYONE talking about?!?
(The day's hottest topics, of course...)

So, as you all probably know, the past year has not been Tiger Woods' best year. A lot of his sponsors have even decided to dump him after his series of indiscretions. The one that stuck with him? His boys at Nike, of course. I mean, they invested like a million dollars in the kid when he was like 16...and now they are sticking by his side, and they will present their newest marketing campaign featuring El Tigre as The Masters kicks off today. The question is, how do you make someone like Tiger seem like a real person again after all he has done...the answer is simple: emotional blackmail.
Contrary to numero uno up there, here is an absolutely shocking story: some handsome young kid from Taiwan went on a show called Super Star Avenue, sang a little Whitney Houston song like Kevin Costner was in the room, and absolutely KILLED it! (Like, in a good way.) We recommend you check out the clip before fashionista/dictator Kim Jong-Il has it stricken from the internet (oh wait, that's North Korea.) 
United Airlines, the oft-troubled mega-airline is in talks to merge with the US Airways. Which is great, but the question is how will this effect you as a potential airline passenger? I have to imagine that United thinks that they will just be able to combine their charges and US Airways charges for extra bags...meaning it might be cheaper now just to overnight your bags via FedEx. At least they won't be charging to use the bathroom on the plane...yet.

Tiki has clearly been reading way too much People and USWeekly lately. It looks like Mr. Barber is following in the footsteps of Jesse James and the aforementioned Tiger Woods and is leaving his 8-months pregnant wife for a 23 year-old intern. He might want to look for some better role models...I wonder what Chuck Barkley and Mike Jordan are up to.
So, I guess these Kyrgyzstan protesters were serious about their little revolution, because they just went and took over the government yesterday, dissolved Parliament, and have now decided that they will only rule for 6 months. I guess we shouldn't be so surprised...the same thing happened not so long ago. Not sure what they will rename the country now...hopefully something much simpler
As you know (or, as you read this on your new iPad), a certain Apple tablet PC is all the rage in the tech world right now. So, of course, the next logical step, after everyone buying one, is everyone making their own viral video about it. Some guy tried to put one in a blender, and a few kids even decided to buy one JUST to smash it. Ahhhh, kids these days...back when I was a kid, we didn't even have blenders.
To all those who said this would never last, well, I guess you were right. To be fair, I think Jenny has other (scientifically unsupported) things on her mind, and Jim has been walking around talking like Ace Ventura a little too much for her liking. Anyways, I hope they remember to return each other's clothes.
The saga continues down in the West Virginia coal mining country. While the rescue efforts look bleak as methane levels in the mine are lethal, things look even bleaker for the reputation of the owner of the mine. As one worker said, "It's coal first, safety last." I don't know though, the CEO of the Massey Energy Company sure seems like a nice guy.

Scientists have found a gene that can help predict lung cancer. Apparently, if you have a gene called PI3K found in your windpipe, you are probably going to be getting some lung cancer. One other sign that you will probably get lung cancer: you smoke.

Apparently, Qatari comedy doesn't translate so well with American airline employees. A diplomat from Qatar apparently was lighting up a fresh cigar in the airplane lavatory, and when employees noticed smoke smell, he joked about lighting his shoes on fire. I'm sure in Qatar, that joke would have killed. Anyways, the guy had a solid defense: a little something called diplomatic immunity.

Drop that FRESH knowledge!
(These topics are getting hot...)

1. demi moore bush
This story isn't quite what you think it is...well, unless you were thinking it was about a dispute between Reggie Bush and Demi Moore, in which case, it is exactly what you were thinking.
2. kate gosselin jimmy fallon
Jimmy Fallon has won at least one more fan. Although, I guess if Kate Gosselin was a fan before, she's not any more, so it all evens out.
3. lionel messi
The world's second most famous Lionel of all time scored four goals in a game! That's more goals than were scored in the entire previous World Cup tournament by every team combined! (Just kidding, I think they scored at least 6 total.) ps. The picture of Messi and Diego Maradona absolutely makes this article.

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