April 28, 2010 - Fraud Was The Case (That They Gave Goldman!)

What is EVERYONE talking about?!?
(The day's hottest topics, of course...)

Select Goldman Sachs execs went through a grueling day of interrogation from a Senate panel trying to determine the intention behind the actions that lead up to their being charged by the SEC with fraud. It was a lot like the Roger Clemens hearing, minus all the hugging and kissing and with a lot more scolding and swearing. The execs spent most of the hearing trying to deflect criticism and blame for their actions while hearing taunts from both the Senators and the crowd. It really makes you think that it can't be all that fun to be a Goldman exec right now, until you remember those killer bonuses they took home for 2009.
As American financial companies face big question marks about their role in the recent collapse of the American economy, European countries are worried about their own set of financial dominoes falling. The blame seems to fall on the Greeks, who stand on the brink of financial collapse as all their debt obligations were downgraded to junk yesterday, which could mean big trouble for countries like Portugal, Spain and Ireland. Meanwhile, the Greeks put most of the blame on a variety of gods who are probably just upset they can't reach Greece through the thick clouds of smog over Athens.
Continuing the seemingly unending "troubled financial sector news," as widely anticipated, Republican Senators not only continued to block Democratic attempts to begin a Senate debate on financial reform, but they also introduced their own counterproposal to the Dems plan. Now, it is, of course, expected that the Democrats will scrap their own plan which they have been crafting for months, apologize for even considering it, then use the Republican plan and maybe find a way to make it even more Republican-friendly by adding references to God and/or guns. Well, at least that's what the GOP is hoping for.
I don't know if you know this, but our national debt in America is pretty high. I mean, we owe China more money than Tiger Woods is going to have to pay his soon-to-be ex-wife. So, with that in mind, President Obama has created a commission to explore ways to become more fiscally responsible and lower said debt. While, Obama has said that he is keeping quiet about the findings until the commission finishes its work in December, he did say its not out of the question that he will raise taxes. In fact, he even said he will likely place a large tax on tea, and he doesn't care what the people think about that. 

I know that you are all probably pretty pumped up for the premier of Furry Vengeance starring Brendan Fraser this weekend, but some people are getting more amped up for the premier next weekend for a little movie called Iron Man 2, which is essentially a flashier, higher-tech sequel to a movie called Iron Man. The new movie, starring Robert Downey, Jr. and Gwyneth Paltrow, is already causing talk with Paltrow calling herself "the town slut" in an MTV interview and Burger King handing out toys related to the film that many consider sexist. So, I guess all you can say that even if the movie sucks, at least you got suckered in through some of the oldest tricks in the book: sequels, sex and toys.

Here's the good news for Bret Michaels: I'm sure he had a ton of fun during the 80's, and well, the 00's partying with all those old chicks on Rock of Love, and unlike most of the other rock stars of the day, he can still pull off the long blonde hair and eyeliner look. Now, here's the bad news, and it seems to keep piling up, new tests performed on the ailing rock star show that he may be at risk for severe seizures, meaning his road to recovery could be even longer than first anticipated. While his fans rally around him, Donald Trump said sickness was just not acceptable in his world, and has decided to go visit Michaels at the hospital where he told him, "You're fired...get well soon."

There is a rumor spreading all over internet land that remains of Noah's Ark may have been found in Turkey! However, if you read any of the stories, you will discover that the "Ark" was found by a group of evangelicals, who say they are 99.9% sure that it is the actual Noah's Ark, and actual researchers who have spent years studying the area are reminding people that evangelical is just another word for "religious nut" and not another word for "skilled archaeologist."

The backlash from Arizona's new racial profiling law continues to mount as various states, people, groups and other entities have begun boycotts of the Grand Canyon State. (As if you needed a reason to not travel to a desert land crawling with scorpions, cacti, scorching temps, no humidity and dust tornadoes.) The latest incident involves the country of Mexico issuing a travel alert warning their citizens not to go to Arizona. The reason for the alert is all because of the new law which legalizes police harassment of anyone who looks Mexican.

As the oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico continues to creep closer and closer to the coast, and threatens both sensitive ecological areas and gulf coast residents and businesses, federal officials are considering taking drastic action: they want to set the oil slick on fire. I'm not sure what that will do to help anything, but it sure would look pretty cool.
Are you between the ages of 55 and 64 and afraid of getting colorectal cancer? Are you tired of invasive colonoscopies? Well, why are you getting colonoscopies so often, anyways? That is besides the point...the real point here is a new 5 minute test is being shown to the reduce the risk of colorectal cancer by 43%...and is much less invasive than those colonoscopies you seem to be so fond of.

Drop that FRESH knowledge!
(These topics are getting hot...)

Don't believe the rumors...this story would be ranked much higher if it were true. But, it does make you want to do a welfare check on Whitney Houston...

2. sandra bullock baby
Wow. Sandra Bullock has sure moved on quickly from her personal crisis with Jesse James. She has a new man in her life...well, a new boy...well, it's actually a baby she has adopted. I guess she figured at that age, she has at least 10-15 years before boys can really start causing any trouble.

3. fake arab virgins 
The hot new surgery in Arab countries? Arab and Asian girls are heading France to try to regain their virginity, or at least the appearance of virginity. Which is funny, because young girls in the U.S. generally seem to be doing the exact opposite.

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