April 27, 2010 - No Financial Reform Debate? DENIED!

What is EVERYONE talking about?!?
(The day's hottest topics, of course...)

So, as expected, GOP Senators voted against proceeding on an overhaul of the financial system. It is still widely believed that the overhaul will eventually get through the Senate when everyone realizes that maybe it's not a good idea to allow Wall Street to continue operating "business as usual." However, don't expect the Repubs to go quite so easily, as they will likely point to Fox News polls that show an overwhelming majority of Americans want people to be nice to Wall Street since they've already had a rough couple of years.
Okay, we all know oil and water don't mix...but what happens when you add robots into that mix? It appears we are finally going to find out the answer to this age-old question, as the seemingly omnipotent "Officials" have deployed robots in an effort to contain the growing oil spill caused by the recent explosion of the Deepwater Horizon oil rig in the Gulf of Mexico. I don't know about you, but I had no idea robots could even swim, let along contain oil spills.
Steve Jobs personal goons, or uh, iCops? Police raided the house of an editor of tech blog Gizmodo last Friday as part of the investigation of the blog's recent leak of pictures and information on the newest version of Apple's iPhone. As a result, several people are now wondering if the raid and search of the editor, Jason Chen's, home was even legal. The better question is why Chen was so unprepared for the raid, and didn't live-blog the whole thing for Gizmodo. Maybe he was out partying with all his other tech-blogging buddies, or busy in an chat room with one of his online girlfriends...you wouldn't know her.
The Grand Canyon didn't know it had anything to do with immigration, and apparently, Arizona Governor Jan Brewer didn't either. It doesn't seem Gov. Brewer was planning on any negative effects, including Arizona tourism boycotts, stemming from her extreme immigration bill. I mean, when has alienating a large portion of the country ever seen any negative consequences? Aside from when Sarah Palin alienated all the non-real Americans who don't like to shoot moose in their free time, or those who enjoy using proper grammar, or those who can remember the names of the magazines they read, or those who can locate Russia on a map, or...well, you get the point
I don't know about you, but most of the time when I eat chocolate, I feel pretty good. Well, now a new study is showing that people that eat more chocolate are more likely to suffer from depression. Of course, before you jump to any conclusions or stop swimming in the recreation of Willy Wonka's magical chocolate river you have in your backyard, maybe you should ask yourself this: what came first, the chicken (depression) or the (chocolate) egg?

In the most anticlimactic story of the day, Sudan, home to some of the world's most egregious human rights violations, held its first multiparty election in more than 2 decades...and, unlike your average American (or Sudanese) Idol results night, no one was kicked out. The likely result of what was surely a completely legitimate vote is civil war, as feuding incumbent parties in the North and South remained in power and killings in the Western region of Darfur continue. So, once again, the problems of America are put in perspective for the very small minority of Americans who even realize that Sudan exists.

Well, since violent protests have been going on in Thailand for seven weeks now, lead by anti-dictatorship activists wearing red shirts, the king of Thailand thought maybe it was time he descended from his throne and addressed the issue. Unfortunately, like most current monarchies, and those little puppets from Mr. Rogers Neighborhood, the king's powers are mostly imaginary these days, and the anti-government rallies are expected to continue.

Nearly 10 years after A-Rod signed a 10-year $250 Million contract to play baseball, someone has finally (almost) caught up to his annual salary. Ryan Howard, annual member of the 50-home run club, and the Philadelphia Phillies, signed a 5 year, $125 Million deal yesterday. While their salaries are now comparable, it is unclear how long it will take people to start disliking Howard as much as they dislike A-Rod.

Smoke bombs, eggs and fists were flying in the Ukrainian parliament this morning as lawmakers decided to allow the Russian navy to stay in a Ukrainian port until 2042. Apparently, most of the chaos was not caused by this decision, but by the rumors that someone has been saying Ukraine is weak. Protestors responded by descending into chaos and yelling "Ukraine is game to you?"
A doctor performing postdoctoral work at Yale University was shot and killed by a former colleague yesterday evening. The assailant also shot at the victim's pregnant wife, but missed. Investigators have yet to determine a motive, but police think it has something to do with the two not really getting along all that well.

Drop that FRESH knowledge!
(These topics are getting hot...)

Apparently, Hugh Hefner has time for other stuff in between being 94 years old and entertaining all those young girls that live in his house.

2. tito ortiz jenna jameson
Hmmm...a UFC champ and the world's most famous porn star? What could possibly go wrong in that relationship? Oh, yeah...

3. south park islamic radical leader
Remember that part in 8 Mile where Eminem reveals that his opponent in the final rap battle went to private school (ok, well I do)...I imagine that scene could definitely unfold at the next meeting of radical Muslims for the artist formerly known as Zach Chesser, who now prefers to be known as Abu Talhah Al-Amrikee and hates white people non-Muslims. Q7ZF7FT25FW7

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