April 24-25, 2010 Coming To America! (Illegally)

What is EVERYONE talking about?!?
(The day's hottest topics, of course...)

Just when you thought that we were getting over the whole health care debate and moving on to a good old-fashioned financial debate, in comes Arizona governor Jan Brewer with her radical immigration reform bill. The bill supposedly makes it a crime to be in Arizona illegally, but I am pretty sure that it is already a crime to be anywhere illegally, right? What the bill really does is allow police offers to make people show proof of citizenship on command if there is reason to suspect their "citizenship", and although supposedly Governor Brewer won't tolerate racial profiling, this bill sure sounds a lot like encouraged racial profiling.
Bret Michaels health took a distinct turn for the worse yesterday, as he was rushed to the hospital and found to have a brain aneurysm. He is now in stable condition. The former Poison star, and current Celebrity Apprentice contestant was having Nuthin But A Good Time with his new buddies Blago and Trumpy, but soon discovered that Every Rose Has Its Thorn, and now needs Something To Believe In.
The wait is over for Jimmy Clausen and Colt McCoy, who were selected in the 2nd and 3rd rounds of the NFL draft by Carolina and Cleveland, respectively. While the two were happy to finally be drafted, they are both a little worried about how their friends will react to being drafted so far behind Tim Tebow.
Illinois Democratic nominee for the United States Senate Alexi Giannoulias faced a tough day yesterday, as his family's troubled Broadway Bank was finally shut down by the feds yesterday. The failure brings up concerns about Giannoulias' ties to the bank, and does not bode well for his election hopes this fall. Meanwhile, current holder of the seat Giannoulias and Mark Kirk are vying for, Roland Burriss, voiced his support for Alexi, but then asked what exactly he was running for anyways, and said that Mr. Blagojevich said he was giving him a lifetime seat in the Senate.
Apparently, to some, this is a huge story. Doctors in Spain supposedly carried out the world's first full facial transplant on a man who severely damaged his face in an accident. The only question that I have is have any of these people even seen the movie Face/Off? I wonder if he got a Nicolas Cage face or a John Travolta face.

Ronnie Lee Gardner was convicted of murdering a lawyer 25 years ago, and has been sitting on Death Row ever since. Yesterday, the state of Utah gave him the choice for his long-anticipated June 18 execution: lethal injection or firing squad? Gardner opted for the firing squad, although you really have to wonder if he thought they were playing mind games with him, and would do the opposite of whatever he said. Either way, I guess that's a pretty tough choice.

7. goldman sachs defense
Goldman Sachs, facing severe backlash from the recent charges of fraud filed against them by the SEC, is preparing to defend themselves, and it turns out they may go with the age-old "Big Boy" defense. You know, like, "Yeah, we committed fraud, but all participants were big boys and should have been able to figure out it was fraud." Now, I'm not a legal expert, but I guess there is a possibility that admitting fraud in the face of charges of fraud could be the way off the hook?

Jack Barouh, a former watchmaker, was given 10 months in jail for hiding 10s of millions of dollars in offshore accounts with financial giant UBS. Unlike Goldman, his defense seemed solid, as he claimed he was the son of Holocaust survivors who taught him to "hide and hoard" in order to build a secret nest egg. Unfortunately, the judge in the case was unable to find any evidence or precedent that made it okay to not pay federal taxes because your parents gave you bad financial advice about how to invest your earnings.

Army veteran Jeffrey Rush was sentenced to 6 1/2 years in prison and ordered to repay up to $300,000 on Friday for collecting disability benefits for a paralysis that he faked in order to avoid being sent to Iraq after a 2004 vehicle accident. This just serves as a reminder to all those who fake paralysis: usually doctors will be able to tell if you are really paralyzed. Also, average people will realize you aren't paralyzed if they see you walking or running, or just moving your legs.
Today is the 20th anniversary of the launch of the Hubble Telescope, which I am sure is really cool if you really like telescopes that float around in space. If you don't, then I am sure you will be delighted to know that the Hubble Telescope should no longer be functional after 2013. Then we can all get together and have a huge anti-Hubble celebration.

Drop that FRESH knowledge!
(These topics are getting hot...)

Fox and ABC have determined that a Lane Bryant ad featuring one of those lovely full-figured women in minimal clothing is too racy for prime time. Now you can hear all that old adage about how "this is what real women look like"...but let me tell you, if all full-figured women looked that good, the world would be a much better place.

2. kids for sale craigslist
This guy put his kids up for sale on Craig's List. Apparently, the only response he got was from the police, so, of course, now, it was all a big joke...unless someone comes in with a decent offer.

3. tiger's blog
Tiger Woods is spending his spare time blogging these days. I don't know about you, but to me that just seems like a huge waste of time.

No comments:

Post a Comment

COMMENT (or else)