April 23, 2010 - Sam I Am Now A Ram!

What is EVERYONE talking about?!?

(The day's hottest topics, of course...)


Mid-Day Update: The NFL Draft continues tonight. Jimmy Clausen and Mel Kiper are still probably sad that Tim Tebow got drafted ahead of Clausen. The AIr Force is making a really awesome space plane, but won't tell anyone about it. Dallas Braden got mad at A-Rod yesterday for touching his mound (that's what she said!) Greece has requested financial aid so it can go to college fix its economy. Finally, Barack Obama is calling for immigration reform, just not the immigration reform that the crazy white people government in Arizona wants.

1. sam bradford draft

The NFL Draft went prime time last evening for the first time ever, and for at least two former Heisman Trophy winners, it was a huge success. While Super Bowl commercial star Tim "the mom tackler" Tebow was a surprise pick by Denver at #25, Oklahoma QB Sam Bradford, who didn't really do much of anything last year from what I can recall, is headed to St. Louis as the #1 overall pick. Hopefully he can learn a little something from St. Louis Super Bowl hero Kurt Warner, and spend the summer bagging groceries rather than chasing broads like a certain overpublicized Pittsburgh Super Bowl hero...or I suppose he could go the more conventional Peyton Manning route.

2. oil rig sink

So, as you should know by now, an oil rig in the Gulf of Mexico, caught fire, exploded, and then sank 36 hours later. In the aftermath, 11 people remain missing, and now, get this, there is the possibility of a major oil spill. That's right, a huge oil rig exploded and sank into the ocean, and that could lead to an oil spill. It really makes you wonder when they will institute a no-smoking policy on oil rigs. I mean, if they can do it in bars in major cities...

3. ncaa tourney 68 teams

While there had been some talk for a while that the NCAA tournament would be expanded to 96 teams and last for approximately 4 months, making it more of a Winter/Spring Madness than a March Madness, it appears traditionalists can take a deep breath. The NCAA, still feeling the high from their new $10.8 billion TV deal, has moved the tournament up to involve just 68 teams which, of course, means that the 66th-rated team will no longer be really upset with the NCAA selection tournament...that responsibility will fall to the 69th-rated team in the country. 

4. bangkok grenades

To be honest, I haven't been keeping really super-close tabs on the situation in Thailand over the last few weeks. I mean, I know there is some significant civil unrest mainly among a bunch of dudes wearing red t-shirts, but that has never been more evident than today, as a series of grenade blasts killed 3 and wounded 75 people in Bangkok. So, I guess for all the complaining we I do, by comparison, that whole Tea Party thing really is like, well, a tea party.

5. finance reform bill 

The Democrats continued their push for financial reform yesterday (and the GOP continued their push for disagreement), as Barack Obama called for Wall Street's cooperation in fixing the system, and spread the blame for the financial collapse to both Wall Street and Washington...and Wall Street was all like, what are you talking about? We didn't do anything wrong. We don't need to make any changes. So, it appears Wall Street is still in the Denial stage. We've got a long way to go to Acceptance.

6. nick clegg 

As the general election approaches in the UK, a young upstart named Nick Clegg tried to carry the momentum from his first debate that he absolutely dominated last week into last night's second debate. It was the first ever American-style debate in the country, but all that means is that it was televised...British accents were still used.

7. killer fungus

I'll let you go ahead and imagine what this story is about for a few minutes before I actually tell you...okay, whoa, you really have an overactive imagination, it has absolutely nothing to do with that. No, a killer fungus called c.gatti was spotted in the Pacific Northwest, and researchers are reporting that not only could it spread, but it could kill 1 out of 4 people who come in contact with it. I don't know about you, but that's not how I want to go out. I don't want my tombstone to read: "Killer Fungus Victim."

8. evangelist franklin graham

The Army has rescinded its invitation to evangelist Franklin Graham for the upcoming national prayer day after they found out that a.) he was an evangelist and b.) he had made some not so flattering generalizations about the Islamic religion back in 2001. Of course, if the Army would have done their research, they would have realized that the son of legendary evangelist Billy Graham also stated that he could say all this because he had Muslim friends.

9. borneo species

A color-changing frog. The world's longest insect. A lungless frog. A long-tailed slug. All these were among the new species found in Borneo recently...which, was really disappointing, as most people were expecting the new species to include something much cooler, like maybe an animal with the body of an elephant and the head of a monkey...and the feet of a human.

10. arizona immigration bill

Thousands of people gathered to protest the nation's toughest immigration bill in Arizona yesterday. The law calls for people to be able to prove that they are not in the country illegally on command, or face arrest. To me, that seems a little extreme. The only proof I have that I am here legally is the story my mom tells me about how I was born here...but I don't actually recall the details of that incident, so for all I know, I could very well have come here illegally.

Drop that FRESH knowledge!

(These topics are getting hot...)

1. nap memory

A new study suggests that a mid-afternoon nap can improve the memory...but only if you dream. So, maybe you should try harder at that...

2. burger king mimosa
Mmmmm...Burger King is now offering mimosas and brunch, which actually sounds much worse than that KFC Double Down sandwich.

3. sec porn
Here's the big story that everyone is gonna be talking about today. I guess several employees at the Securities and Exchange Commission were caught surfing porn during the recent economic collapse, which finally proves that SEC employees are just like everyone else.