April 20, 2010 - Help! I'm Stuck In Europe, and I Can't Get Out!


What is EVERYONE talking about?!?
(The day's hottest topics, of course...)

Planes, Trains and Automobiles. The name of a classic movie starring John Candy and Steve Martin? Check. The types of transportation people are using to get around Europe these days? Well, that would only be 66.66666667% accurate. Hundreds of billions Thousands of travelers are still stranded in European airports due to that crazy Icelandic volcano spewing rocks and ash all over the European airspace. But, my weary travelers, as you sit in airports across Europe, take comfort in this: that volcano is actually strengthening, and Icelandic volcanos have been known to create a domino effect of sorts that may lead to continued eruptions. Oh, I guess that's not good news for you...well, at least you have this website to keep you busy for the next 20 minutes or so.
Hmmmm, here's a rather suspicious story. Supposedly, some random guy found a prototype of the newest (previously) unreleased iPhone in a bar, then waited (at least 10 seconds) for the owner to return to claim the phone, but when the owner didn't return before the finder/keeper ran out the door, he sent the phone to tech blog Gizmodo for them to properly introduce the phone to the entire world. Apparently, the most shocking news is that the new iPhone can play MP3 audio tracks...oh, the old phone could do that too? Still, keep an eye out next time you go to the bar, you never know what you could steal find.
Go ahead and try this trick. Find the nearest teenage boy. Ask him what the date is today. Chances are you will get the following response: "Haha, it's 4/20, maaaannnn!" Well, if you are wondering what this young hoodlum finds so funny about this particular date, chances are that not only are you either quite out of the loop, but you were probably never in it. Anyways, for a reason understood by very few, it has to do with people smoking cannabis aka the Boo Reefer aka the marijuana weeds. Also, for the math-lovers out there, Google would like you to know that 4 / 20 = 0.2.
Rahm Emanuel is still Barack Obama's f*&%n Chief of Staff. Richard Daley is still the Mayor of Chicago...for now. (Ari Emanuel is still Rahm's brother, and still the inspiration to the guy on that show that used to be popular.) Well, while the rumor has been going around, Rahm made it official yesterday...while he understands that Daley is still the mayor of Chicago, if something, uh, unfortunate were to happen to Mayor f*&%n Daley in the near future, like say, a safe drop on his head, Emanuel would be more than willing to take over duties as Chicago's mayor. Just saying...
Around 1/3 of people that use tanning beds become addicted to the affects (the tan skin part, not the skin cancer part, I believe) according to a new study. Still no word on what addictive effects gym and laundry have on people, or if this study applies outside of the Jersey Shore.
Were you just wondering if it was coincidental that the SEC's lawsuit against Goldman Sachs is going down at the exact same time as the Democrats push for financial regulation reform? Yeah, me too. The newest development is the story that the SEC had been investigating Goldman for months, and now people are wondering if it could have wide-ranging effects on other investment banks. Although, I assume they mean aside from the fact that the other banks are already pretty sad that their friends at Goldman are in trouble.
While the death toll, now beyond 2,000, continues to mount from the 6.9 magnitude earthquake in Western China, rescue workers continue to work to pull survivors from the wreckage despite battling altitude sickness. You have to wonder if this will be the final straw for people who continue building homes in the region that has experienced 53 earthquakes over 5.0 magnitude since 2001.
It was a beautiful Patriot's Day in Boston yesterday, with perfect weather for running 26.2 miles, if such a thing were to exist. American Ryan Hall ran the fastest time ever for an American in the event, and Kenyan Robert Cheruiyot ran a course record time to win the event. Strangely enough, another, completely different Kenyan named Robert Cheruiyot won the event in record time in 2006. That name must be like Bob Wilson or Tom Jackson over in Kenya.

European travelers, pilots, airplanes, birds and other air-going creatures all failed to take pity on the astronauts on the space shuttle Discovery who were forced to spend another day orbiting the Earth due to overcast skies and rain in Florida. However, I assume the airplanes were all able to finally share a good laugh when they gathered in their hangars and talked about the poor little space shuttle that couldn't handle overcast skies.

It turns out the SEC is not the only government agency taking action against a long-time nemesis this week. The FDA will now be taking steps to limit the amount of salt that can be used in processed foods. They claim that some of these foods just taste way too salty these days...oh, no, wait, I guess it's mainly because excessive amounts of salt are not so good for your health.


Drop that FRESH knowledge!
(These topics are getting hot...)
Honest George doesn't seem like such a fitting nickname now. Oh, no, wait, Washington was the one who never told a lie...or so we were all lead to believe.

2. esquire best-looking women
Megan Fox is no longer the world's best-looking woman according to Esquire magazine. Although, they did not say whether it was because she got less good-looking or someone else just got more good-looking.

3. wisconsin sex-ed teachers
This story makes you wonder (amonth other things) why do we event teach kids sex-ed any more? Doesn't everyone have the internet these days?
  

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