April 15, 2010 - Nothing is Certain but Death and...





What is EVERYONE talking about?!?
(The day's hottest topics, of course...)


NEWS IN NEED OF REPAIR (aka BREAKING NEWS!):
 As first reported somewhere else, a giant fireball was seen over the Midwest last night. The source is currently unknown, but I really hope they find out it was something inexplicably awesome.

Four score and 7 years ago (actually, Tax Day was instituted in 1955), our forefathers demanded that we pay individual income taxes every year on April 15. As Benjamin Franklin once said, taxes and death are the only certain things in life, yet it seems that a lot of people hate paying taxes a lot more than they hate dying. However, we can take some solace in the fact that many countries have much higher income tax rates  and the US tax rate has been much much higher in the past...oh, and if you click on the headline, a lot of places give away big deals on tax day, so we've got that going for us.
In related news, also four score and 7 years ago (actually, make that 237 years ago), a bunch of American colonists got together and threw a bunch of British tea into Boston Harbor. Essentially, these colonists were upset that they were being taxed for this tea by government officials that they did not elect, and felt they were victims of "taxation without representation." Well, all these years later, a bunch of mostly relatively wealthy white males are dressing up like it is 1773 and getting upset about being taxed with representation. Strangely enough, the current darling of the modern Tea Party is Sarah Palin, who would have been taxed without representation until 1919 either way.
While reports surface that Tiger Woods and his wife Elin are getting closer and closer to divorcing (shocking!), news broke last night that Larry King would be getting divorced from his current wife (more shocking!) and crazy-ass Mel Gibson was splitting up with his Russian girlfriend. So, bad news for these ladies, but good news for the rest of the ladies in the world: three celebrities, a serial adulterer/sex addict, a 76 year-old 22-time divorcee, and an anti-Semite alcoholic are all on the market! 
If you watch American Idol, then you've noticed that the ubiquitous Ryan Seacrest seems to have been acting a little strange lately. Last episode, he made an ill-advised wisecrack about Adam Lambert's talented tongue and slow-danced with a male audience member throughout one of the contestant's songs. Maybe he is sad his buddy Simon is leaving at the end of the year? Or maybe he is just picking up where Paula Abdul left off?
John Calipari and Kentucky fans everywhere were left slightly disappointed by a banner recruiting class this year, as their team failed to advance beyond the Elite 8. Don't worry though, Wildcat fans, as Calipari somehow just locked up the services of the nations #1 recruits in 2010 (Brandon Knight) and 2011 (Michael Gilchrist). You also have to remember that Calipari reached at least one Final Four at both UMass and Memphis before he took off and the program was stripped of these accomplishments. So, be patient...
Natural disasters seem to be ravaging every corner of the Earth, as Al Gore and movies like The Day After Tomorrow predicted, and Iceland is certainly not immune to the phenomenon. Yesterday, a volcano on the Eyjafjallajokull glacier erupted, and the ash from the eruption is disrupting flights out of the UK. However, the volcano has had little effect on the people of Iceland, who are more concerned with the country's financial woes and generally about living in a place called Iceland.

7. whitney houston comeback
Embarrassed that she had been outdone by a young Korean boy on the song "I Will Always Love You," Whitney Houston headed to the UK determined to make a memorable comeback. It seems she has succeeded. Unfortunately, it will be memorable for being a horrible show. To be fair, the British have high standards for drug-addicted female pop stars, though.
While Iceland deals with volcanos and the UK deals with the volcanic ash and Whitney Houston, China is working to rescue the thousands of people in the mountainous Western half of the country trapped or otherwise effected by a string of earthquakes yesterday morning. Rescue workers have a variety of obstacles to overcome, including altitude, mountain roads, freezing temperatures and figuring out a way to get around the Great Wall.
As the season just begins in baseball, it's playoff season in the NHL and the NBA, so make sure to do your research and then submit your NHL and NBA brackets for your work pool, even though the cleaning lady will probably win these brackets too.
Along with Lost and 24, Ugly Betty is one of numerous high profile shows ending their run this year, leaving upset fans all across the world. While the other shows have lost some of their luster, or run out of storylines, Ugly Betty is ending its run simply because they do not feel Betty is ugly enough to justify the title any more.

Drop that FRESH knowledge!
(These topics are getting hot...)

1. jerry jones drunk
From the tape transcript: Jerry Jones: [Inaudible. Sounds a little like, "Sell mammoth f**kin' rake," whatever that means.]


2. dr. dre detox
Originally scheduled for release in 2004, word on the street is that Dr. Dre may drop his third album sometime in 2010, or maybe 2011, or some time after that.


3. that king is crazy
New Burger King commercials depicting the Burger King escaping from a mental hospital have angered people who live in mental hospitals. I think because they don't serve burgers in there.
   

3 comments:

  1. Sprint Nextel Cοrp ρrovіԁeѕ a гange of servіces aρplication development аnd maintenаnce, testing,
    repaiг and mаintenаnсe business рrovidеs a grеаt
    oveгvіew and indiсation of thе
    proԁuсtiоn and release of a fіlm.



    Here is my web ρаge - internet marketing associates

    ReplyDelete
  2. There are certain methods on how you use
    Profit for your business. It is a process by which a website gains traffic through social networking sites.
    Some article marketing services can bring a lot of work to do so on
    a separate account on HubPages. Leading search engines such as Yahoo!



    my homepage: best seo services

    ReplyDelete
  3. So you played a fewcornhole new video game systemsand found
    it so addictive that you went ahead and purchased your first
    set - two wood boards and eight cornhole bags.

    Feel free to surf to my homepage - tci-inquiry.org

    ReplyDelete

COMMENT (or else)