April 13, 2010 - Don't Call it a "CoCo"Comeback


What is EVERYONE talking about?!?
(The day's hottest topics, of course...)

Okay, I know LL Cool J said not to call it a comeback, but I guess by most definitions, this is, in fact a comeback. Months after being ousted at NBC from his dream job with The Tonight Show, Conan will move on to his backup dream job...leading in for George Lopez and Lopez Tonight on the Superstation: TBS. With O'Brien joining late night legend Lopez and blockbuster shows like House of Payne, is TBS the NEW future of television?

Iran is a funny place, lead by a funny guy, who famously resembles a "very hairy Jake Gyllenhal."  If there is one thing this guy loves, it is anything with the word nuclear in it, and if there is one thing he hates, it is Americans (well, and Israel, and a lot of other stuff.) Anyways, he really wants to build some type of nuclear program in Iran, and doesn't really care what anyone else has to say about it. Now China has expressed interest in joining in with America to start sanctioning this funny little guy just to see how he will react. I am sure he will have something controversial to say about it, and we will all have another good laugh.


You read that right. Unfortunately, for all you Hillary supporters out there who think she would look good in a long black robe (or anything, for that matter), there is absolutely no truth the to the rumor that she is being considered for the Supreme Court. Not sure if Hillary would even consider such a post, but I assume, like many other young girls out there, I think she has been so inspired by Sarah Palin's historic rise, that she too may now dream of running for the Presidency one day.


The recession is OVER! Well, it depends on who you talk to, really, so don't quote me on that. However, the Dow Jones Industrial Average is back at 11,000 for the first time in 18 months. Now, to be fair, and to dampen your spirits just slightly, not only is this a totally meaningless benchmark, but it's also still well below the all-time high of 14,000. But it still might be a good time to go out and start spending recklessly again...


So, even more news from the omnipotent Steve Jobs. It looks like Apple is coming out with a new product called the Microsoft Kin, which, I assume, makes Bill Gates none too happy...oh wait, this is apparently not an Apple product after all, but another in a long line of "iPhone-killers" from the original software giants themselves. Let's just hope, for all those Microsoft stockholders out there, that this fares better than their "iPod killer" did.


Now, feel free to correct me if I am wrong, but I believe this is some type of literary award that is considered very prestigious. With that in mind, I am going to warn you now that if this is a topic that interests you, you may just have travelled down the wrong internet pathway. What caught my attention on this topic were the rumblings that the National Enquirer could be getting the credit it so richly deserves from Mr. Pulitzer if it keeps up the good work.


I'm sure you've heard the rumors: two fried chicken patties replacing a bun sandwiching bacon, cheese, and the Colonel's special sauce.  Now that may sound a little sketchy at first, but that's mostly just because of the Colonel's special sauce. With minimal carbs and just 560 calories, nutritionally, it's better for you than a simple Big Mac. Yet complaints were popping up well before the sandwich had even been introduced, calling this the most vile product to ever be introduced by a fast-food chain, which are clearly being made by people who have never been to a fast food chain. 


You've probably heard the rumors by now. John Tesh is going to be a guest on Oprah's show next week...wait, scratch that, apparently this story involves a heated love affair between John Tesh and Oprah back in the 1970's??? Apparently, Oprah is the inspiration behind some of Tesh's most inspiring music. Of course, you'll have to wait for either Kitty Kelley's tell-all Oprah biogrpahy or the more elusive Tesh-Winfrey sex tape for all the details.


9. stephanie ragusa
If you've heard this story once, you've heard it a thousand times. Female teacher sleeps with students. Male students win praise from friends. Teacher goes to jail. Someone just needs to educate these teachers on proper Cougaring techniques. (Rule #1: Prey must be of legal age!)

10. roethlisberger charges
Pittsburgh's Super Bowl hero and model citizen will apparently not face charges for allegedly sexually assaulting a 20 year-old college student in a nightclub bathroom. He took the opportunity yesterday to apologize, but it was too little, too late for teammate Santonio Holmes who was so sickened by the accusations that he demanded a trade to the New York Jets, and was subsequently suspended 4 games for violating the league's substance abuse policy. 


Drop that FRESH knowledge!
(These topics are getting hot...)
1. kate gosselin playboy
Apparently, Jon Gosselin isn't the only one who doesn't want to see Kate naked.
2. earthquake predictor
The latest earthquake prediction technology involves people spreading rumors via Twitter.
3. best airlines
Hawaiian Airlines was named the best airline in terms of service in 2009 according to a recent study. Of course, they had the unfair advantage of having a majority of their flights take passengers to Hawaii.
  

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