January 17, 2011 - Pats Put Their Feet in Their Mouth

jets beat patriots in new england
Really Short Story: Foot fetishes aside, this was quite a football feat.
Short Story: Up in New England, all trash talk was finally put aside yesterday, and…well, okay, maybe they still talked some trash while they were playing, and probably a little bit afterwards, and they may still be talking into the future, but you get the idea. Anyway, the Jets and Patriots actually did end up playing a football game yesterday after all that talking they did in the week leading up to it, and, you'll never believe it, but the Jets were not joking when they said they hated Tom Brady and they were going to win the game. Although, the real question on everyone's mind is still unanswered, and that is, what is the real story behind Rex Ryan's wife's foot fetish? Will we ever find the answer? I know I'm not going to be the one to ask him...
muhammad ali
January 17, 2011: muhammad ali Day! - A strangely likable combination of butterfly and bee.
WHY?: He often referred to himself as "The Greatest" and while it's never been entirely clear what he was insisting he was the greatest at, there are quite a few people who would agree with his assessment. Was he the greatest boxer of all time? Certainly one of them. I mean, he won the heavyweight championship at age 22 against Sonny Liston, converted to Muslim, changed his name, protested a war for four years, then came back at age 32 in the jungles of Zaire against George Foreman. In between all that, he also had a couple incredibly unforgettable fights against Joe Frazier, but let's face it, if the man formerly known as Cassius Marcellus Clay was just a boxer, we wouldn't be talking about him like this today. The man was the most charismatic entertainer in modern sports history, and perhaps in modern history. He revolutionized the way people promoted themselves and sporting events in general. For better or for worse, he made "trash talk" a household phrase, and no matter what you think about the man, it's hard to argue that he wasn't The Greatest at something.

TOMORROW'S contenders:
kevin costner - A true hero to people with voices in their head, because he built a baseball field for Joe Jackson and other dead baseball players.
ted dibiase - He was the Million Dollar Man, back when that was a lot of money.
julius peppers - One win away from the Super Bowl, but even if he doesn't make it, he's still got that cool name.
the i have a dream speech
It's time we all recognize why about 10% of the country gets a day off today. (Seriously, watch it, though.)
17 year old miss america
I'm sorry, but when did Miss America turn into Little Miss Sunshine.
wes welker's rex ryan foot fetish fetish
You read that right. Unfortunately for Welker, Rex Ryan's Jets did get the last laugh, otherwise this might have been the best trash talk of all time.
michael jordan's new table
Michael Jordan is not just the best basketball player of all time, but perhaps the best table purchaser of all time.
golden globes gervais
I just can't believe that he could be so mean and get away with saying all those incredibly true things about those Hollywood stars.

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