August 9, 2010 - Have You Hurd the One About HP's CEO?

mark hurd hp ceo fired
HP CEO Mark Hurd was let go from his job after accusations of sexual harrassment were levied against him by one of the company's marketing consultants. The woman who accused him is 50 year-old Jodie Fisher, who claims she is sad that Mr. Hurd lost his job. She said she did what she had to do though, because she kept having these dreams about these lambs that were screaming, but not making any noise...no, wait, I think I'm thinking of Jodie Foster.
afghanistan aid workers killed
Taliban insurgents have claimed responsibility for the murder of 10 aid workers in Afghanistan over the weekend. That's right, aid workers…as in doctors and nurses and others performing humanitarian efforts. So, consider this your daily reminder that there is a reason why groups like this are called terrorists.
tiger woods worst tournament
As Tiger Woods spent most of the weekend worrying about how his cool new goatee-beard thing was looking, and, uh, I guess how it would help him win back his estranged Swedish wife, well, it seems he forgot how to play golf like a certain Tiger Woods that we all used to know. The good news for Woods is that the beard thing actually looks...no, well, I guess that whole scene is not really good news either.
arizona prison escapees yellowstone
Recently, two convicted murderers escape from an Arizona prison, only to go on the run, allegedly murder two people in New Mexico and then head to their current hiding spot somewhere in the Yellowstone National Park area. While the search has intensified for the two men and their accomplice, Arizona governor Jan Brewer claims she would still rather have legal citizen murderers on the loose in her state than any illegal aliens.
obama birthday weekend
Okay, so the other day I mentioned how being the President of the United States doesn't exactly sound like the best job in the world, what with all the constant criticism and seemingly endless work…but every now and then, on your birthday, you can send your wife and daughters out of the country, fly all your friends in to play golf, go play some pickup hoops with Lebron, Dwyane Wade, and Magic Johnson, and then have a massive BBQ on the White House lawn. So, yeah, I guess it does have its perks after all...

man jumps on train tracks
Oh, what people these days will do to get their 15 minutes of fame. Although, in this case, he's lucky he's alive to see his 15 minutes of infamy.
most downloaded songs ever
Are the musical tastes of America's youth really this bad, or has it always been this way?

tim tebow new haircut
Call me crazy, but this might be the most ridiculous haircut ever…as in ridiculously awesome!

kanye west new video
I'm sure you all have just been dying to see Kanye's new video, although it's obviously not nearly as good as Beyonce's for Single Ladies.
summer health myths
The point of this article: don't take health advice from anyone who's not a medical professional, and even then it's probably 50/50 at best.

Get your HP products now before the new CEO comes in, plays it all straight-laced and messes the whole place up! Why don't you go with this crazy-looking mouse device for starters?