December 30, 2010 - African Corruption and Chaos Gone Wild

ivory coast chaos
Really Short Story: Chaos in Africa so chaotic that other chaos-causers don't approve.
Short Story: We all know that Africa is not the first continent you think of when you think of noble rulers, fair democratic elections, or human rights in general, but it seems that the little country known in the United States as Ivory Coast, lead by some dude named Laurent Gbagbo, is taking corruption in West Africa to a whole new level. Just for is he taking it? Well, it appears that guys like Robert Mugabe and Muammar Gadaffi are frowning upon his antics as too harsh, which is kind of like Bobby Knight disapproving of a coach being too harsh on his players. So, as you sit here and disapprove of Barack Obama for being the Muslim antichrist, remember to still be thankful that he isn't sending forces to your village to kill you in response.
lebron james
December 29, 2010: lebron james Day! - Taking our Person of the Day talents to Lebron's wikipedia page.
WHY?: If you haven't heard of this guy, chances are you haven't heard of America, sports or the internet, so you're probably not reading this anyway. If you have heard of him, but want to know more, I'm sure if you could ask him, he would talk about himself all day long. But since the chances of him fielding your question are slim, I'll fill you in. Of course, you probably know he was on the cover of Sports Illustrated as a junior in high school, annointed as the "Chosen One" and "King James" while driving a massive hummer around his hometown of Akron, Ohio as he awaited his coronation into the NBA as one of the most highly-regarded prospects ever to play the game. You probably know that he played nearby in Cleveland for several years before very publicly leaving the city to die this past summer and taking his talents (his words, not mine) with his buddies in South Beach. You know that he has gone from one of the most admired athletes to one of the most despised in the blink of the eye. You probably don't know if he will ever be able to recover his image completely. You probably don't think he cares all that much. You might also not know that he has two children with his high school sweetheart, and was an all-state wide receiver in high school. He also shares a birthday with Tiger Woods. So, if you're child happens to be born today, he just may go on to become a worldwide athletic phenomenon, before risking it all by making some questionable decisions.

TOMORROW'S contenders:
ben kingsley - This bald little British dude played Ghandi, who was Indian, and won an Academy Award for it.
anthony hopkins - Like Ben Kingsley, he is a Sir. Unlike Ben Kingsley, he played a cannibalistic killer to win an Academy Award.
john denver - This country boy sang about Rocky Mountain Highs, and he wasn't talking about drugs.
mike vick's biggest critic
One look at Tucker Carlson, and you'll realize he probably didn't know who Mike Vick was before yesterday.
sleep deprived surgeons
I think surgeons should inform their patients that they are sleep-deprived...but only right after they put them under.
husband wife email reading case
Apparently, a husband reading his wife's e-mail is considered "hacking." Of course, a wife doing that to a husband is considered "part of her job."
dog gets head stuck in wall
I wonder how fast this dog had to be running to get through this wall.
pennsylvania governor gets punkd
Governor Ed Rendell called the people of America "wussies." I have to imagine that this is one of the nicer pranks that the "wussies" that elected him will play on him.

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